For Tamara and Amy K

This is for you two, though there might be some other reader of my long lost blog out there somewhere. Amy K sent me a message recently about putting time and energy into her real friendships that require time and effort. Facebook status updates don't count. I am guilty of that to the hilt. I'm on Facebook a lot compared to what I need to be. So, all that to say this blog post effort is for the two of you so you know where my mind is and what I do each day.

Today I hit the baseball out of the park on the homefront. I picked almost all the last of the garden produce: zuchinni, green tomatoes, 4 bell peppers, cucumbers and rhubarb. Much later I canned two quarts of pickles which are so simple it almost isn't funny. But earlier in the afternoon I cleaned out the master closet to create a little work area. I uncovered the teak breakfast table I bought my mom when I was 14 (for Mother's Day). Then I moved in a lamp, moved around all the clothes and boxes and cleaned both bathrooms. It looks nice in there and I finally have a place where the kids can't get to the scissors and I can do a craft project and stop in the middle without fear of cereal spilling on it 30 minutes later. I'd go get a picture if it, but the baby is sleeping in my room and I am not waking that kid for anything save a fire. I was just about to say "And the second coming of Christ" but then it freaked me out to think I might be raptured and some of the kids would be here alone. Then I remembered the verse about the kids being saved through their parents and I relaxed knowing all the kids would come to heaven with me if that happened. They are all under the age of reason so they are in the clear. Weird thoughts I know.

I also cleaned up about 2 gallons of little acorns yesterday. I worried someone would slip on them since a lot of folks walk in our cul-de-sac and the sidewalk was rife with acorns. Our pin oak in the front is dropping them like crazy. I looked about an hour ago and the sidewalk was filling up again. So I guess I have some work cut our for me. Our lawn is going to be pin oak nursery if I don't get out there and get them off the lawn. I still have about 3 or 4 wheelbarrows of bark to spread too. Alan will have to do the gravel. My spine can't take the load of gravel.

What else? I just made some pizza dough to freeze and to make pigs in a blanket (pizza dough wrapped hot dogs) for the kids for lunch. Have you ever made those? Knowing Amy K and Tamara, I bet you both use whole wheat flour for this kind of thing. I only buy white flour in bulk, so maybe next time.

I am on the look out for apples! I want to make a huge batch of applesauce for the winter again. Most of the apple sources have gone bad this year. I also have about 4 lbs of rhubarb to deal with today. I think I might have to make some jam, or a pie. I think I have a frozen pie crust in the freezer I could use. But we're still working on the Costco pumpkin pie I bought last weekend. Those are so much bigger when you get them home. It's weird.

That's all I have at present!

Ross Update

My little man is amazing us all with his words, powerful build and his sweet nature. He's going through a lot of tantrums now as he struggles his needs and wants with his ability to describe it to us. He cracked me up yesterday when we got home from the store as he foraged through the pantry for snacks. I just let him since he was working so hard to open packages of raisins and fish crackers. Later on he figured he wanted an apple so he pulled one down from the package on the counter and walked around the kitchen taking little bites here and there. It looked like a red wiffle ball by the time dinner came around.

He likes to be tickled by Daddy a LOT. Yesterday he nestled himself into his Daddy's arms for tickles and kisses like a baby. He did NOT like the fireworks but he was content to just watch some Blues Clues with me and play with toys at his auntie's house. He's blonde and sweet and a joy to snuggle in the morning. He talks all the time now and he really likes to sing Happy Birthday or Twinkle Little Star or a lullaby I sing him by Cindy Morgan. He's our boy and I am so glad we have him. He's likely to be a linebacker at his stature, so I'll be sure to take my kisses and snuggles now while he fits in my arms. I love having a boy.

Oh, she is just the spitting image

Naptime yesterday I tucked in my daughter while laying on her bed and reading a book to her. When we talked for a while she pinched me. I was mad, and it hurt! She looked guilty and sad. I left her room and went to take a shower. Later I went back to her room since she was still awake and I told her I forgave her for pinching me. She said she was sorry and that next time I shouldn't lay on her bed. I asked, "You pinched me because I laid on your bed?" She replied, "Yeah". I was a bit shocked to hear that and I admonished her for doing that and told her again that it really hurt. Although I was happy to see that she had come up with a plan to prevent it from occurring again. It just wasn't the plan I was aiming for. She smiled and went to bed.

Tonight I read her the story of King Solomon and his dream where God promised him anything he wanted. I asked Sarah what she would ask God for if God made the same offer. She thought for a minute and replied, "Help to believe...and things I need." I was surprised at her answer so I asked her to repeat it. She looked at me like she was amazed I didn't understand her and said, "Faith."

She would ask God for faith. I get teary again just typing it.

Things I wish I could tell my husband today!

Sadly, he is on a super secret training and we won't hear from him until Friday. So to be sure I don't forget here is my list:

1. Our daughter used the word similar correctly in a sentence today in the van. I almost started crying out of joy and my pride in her development. She's three, mind you, about 3 and a half. It's a rare word for a 3 year old to know and use with ease. It was so great!

2. On the other hand, she was still completely freaked out about the part of the Vacation Bible School with the apostle Paul and the Roman guard. She was so upset, her Grandma had to hold her out on the porch of the little house because of her fear. So, her heart is 3 for sure, as any suspense is quite scary for her. Sweet little thing has  sensitive heart. I was like that too and I don't want to put more fears in her then she will naturally pick up anyway. 

3. My son said he loves me. He just started this last week. He is so full of life, a tantrum one minute and a hug and kiss and giggle the next. He's trying so hard to be a big boy! His most used phrase to me lately is, " Idoit!" I cannot kiss that boy enough.

4. Breyers finally makes a half fat Mint Chocolate chip ice cream.  Hooray for me! It's really good!

5. I am previewing the old Winnie the Pooh video from Disney to check it to see if my girl can watch it. Pooh just fell out of the tree and bounced down the branches, I'm not sure she's gonna take that in stride. Kids are literal and empathize with the characters. So, I don't know if it's a good idea to let her see it. I'll finish this tonight to see if she can watch it tomorrow. 

And that's it for today!

God Walks Away and Flies

My sweet 3 and a half year old daughter made up this song about 9 months ago and likes to sing it from time to time. It goes like this: God walks away and flies, God walks away and flies...God walks away and flies and on and on to just about any tune she likes at that moment. It's pretty sweet and she likes to sing it to us at night. Alan sings a song that is a lullaby from his childhood that has some line about, "stay awake, don't go to sleep" which sounds weird but it's a very sweet song for a little kid. I usually sing "Over and Under" by Cindy Morgan and also an Indian lullaby called "Suli Ram" I learned in college. We sing a lot in this family.  My son is on a Blues Clues kick and asks us to sing him Blues Clues jingles, so we oblige, but I can't claim to remember the words. That's Alan's department. 

I hope I always take time to put my kids to bed. I have very tender memories of my mother rubbing my back when I went to sleep with the bathroom light on to shine into my room. I can remember the sweet and secure feeling of my mother's hands and her presence on my bed. So whenever my daughter asks me to come and put her to bed, or when she wakes up and comes in to see us in the night, I always get up and put her back into bed myself. I just want her to remember that I am always going to help her and be her companion in life. Even when she would rather I not. I know it will happen, for that is how young women define themselves and become themselves- they oppose and resent their mothers for a time. I watch it often with high schoolers. Well, if my kids don't remember their early childhood, they still have this blog. I wish my mother would have blogged, she would have been a blogging queen. Alas, I think she was too much a struggling perfectionist to journal. So all I have is all we'll ever have of her. I just want to leave my children more.  

So I was going to start blogging again and then I forgot.

I have the memory of a gnat I am sure. I seem to forget everything from my husband's social security number, my kids last doctor visit, where I wrote down the last paycheck amount and if I moved the laundry out of the washer to the dryer. Somethings are silly like where I put the peanut butter knife down on the counter, or forgetting to get more soap out of the cabinet for the shower. Other things are really starting to bother me. Growth as a mom is my most pressing example. 

Today I didn't eat breakfast and I wanted to take a shower. That means I was grumpy but didn't know why and I had to corral the kids upstairs while I took a 30 nano second shower before they dismantled the heating system or reprogrammed the dish network. But I didn't tell them, "Ok, we are going upstairs so I can take a quick shower before we go to the Post Office". No, instead I kept telling them to go upstairs. They were playing with markers and saw it all as an option in life to obey me. I got really mad and raised my voice and put my son in a time out in his room and scared my daughter with my sarcastic words and mad voice.

As I turned I looked at the mirror and I heard God say (and you know this was God because I don't talk like this) " You are teaching her how to talk to you like that when she is 14." 

Gulp. I showered and then went and apologized to her. I got my son out of time out (his crib). We went to the Post office and whatnot. Even though I told my daughter twice that I should not have talked to her that way and I asked for forgiveness she still took quite the angry and defiant tone with me today a few times. So you can see we have to ground to reclaim. 

So what does this admission have to do with my memory? Everything actually. I worry I will forget this like I forget the cute things Rossy says right now. I don't want to forget that what I learned today when I am really irritated at the kids. I want to think about this BEFORE I talk. Frankly, I think I need a brain transplant at times so I can undo all the junk I've learned to do over the years. It seems more reasonable to start over then to reform what I already am. But that's another post I am sure. 

I hate that I forget.  Pray I remember. 

When I think I am off the Mark

I can remember this:

Today I served a vegetable at lunch that my girl does not prefer. I have been going back to the "we eat what we need before we eat what we want, or we eat healthy things before junk food" philosophy. So, I have been taking a harder stand on healthy foods consumed at mealtimes. Which seems weird, but I find I have been raising a very picky eater, and frankly, I don't run a restaurant. All that to say: We had a showdown. I gave options, eat it and be done with it, or sass me some more and then get disciplined and THEN eat the vegetable. Sadly, she decided on door #2. It grieved me to send her away and administer the consequence of her decision. After she woke up from a nap I told her she had to eat the vegetable at the table before she ate her long lost peanut butter sandwich. I waffled and second guessed about whether I did the right thing. I ate my vegetable in front of her to show her we are all in the same boat. But I struggled as balked, and I wondered if I am creating a situation where eating is her power front. But she has a million other choices each day, so it's not as if this is her only option for choices, preferences or self expression. It's that she doesn't want to eat healthy foods and we can't afford for her to keep it up. 

So, as I sat here next to her she ate the carrot and when she was finished she turned to me and said, "Mommy, thank you for teaching me how to chew up the carrot and eat it."

I sighed and kissed her on the cheek. 

Parenting is not what I thought it was going to be. I think that's good for me. I hope it's good for the kids. 

My son

Oh, he is just getting cuter every moment. He talks all the time now, saying everything we do. It's just so endearing. He is walking like a champ, with exceptional balance and strength. He loves to try to use the water dispenser and I regularly have to clean up the water puddle underneath. He is precious, strong willed and delightful. I am so glad to have him in our family. God is so good.