Thinking

I've been thinking a lot about why I post here. At first I craved some connection to my friends, and now I think I have finally developed enough friendships to assuage that deep felt loss. I finally have a life here in my little town, a life that keeps me busy, a life that I like. So I think my original reasons for blogging have changed. At this point I think I blog to keep some record for my children about who I am as a Mom, who I am as their mother. My mom died when I was 19, and I basically never knew her. She died before I came of age so to speak and so I never knew her as a peer- as a woman. She was always my mom and all about me. So I always keep that in the back of my mind as I write. I also have been very busy with my little ones. It's hard to type while holding a squirmy 8 month old who is teething. So, I read some sites, but rarely post myself. 

Speaking of which- I think I came to the end of the internet recently. It has been a feeling lately that there is nothing new to read-no matter which site posts it as new. Everything just seems to be old and tired. When I look outside I see newness and color, but inside online I only see the results of evil, or pettiness, or greed. I actually had to stop reading CNN.com simply for those reasons. Even comment threads can so quickly turn acerbic and cutting. A friend stopped blogging recently and I think it was in part to a comment from a reader who posted a really weird and mean comment that mocked the author of the blog. I think that commentor has altogether too much time on their hands to be so wicked and small. It takes work to be that way, and they have squandered their talent and turned to sarcasm to injure others. It is really pathetic and I don't have enough time in my life to read crap like that. I've got a life and someone is up from their nap. Bye for now!