Mr. Couch-Up-His-Nose
An event the other day made me think of the story that occurred when I worked for the Special Ed Department of an outlying school district. I think it bears repeating...
Near the end of each day I would tutor a 3rd grade student in reading. Since he had a tumultuous homelife it was my daily work to make our time special and uplifting before I put him on bus for home. As we walked along the breezeway towards our reading spot he starts with, "Mrs Jackson, if I sneeze it's because I have some couch up my nose".
"Oh. Ok then." was my reply. My kids at the elementary school were often in a world somewhere between Never-never land, The Willy Wonka Factory and Walmart. Anything was possible and plausible. Although he hadn't sneezed at all at this point. Then my brain registered what he said and I asked, "Wait, you have what up your nose?"
"Some couch." was his matter-of-fact reply.
"How did you get some couch up there?" I inquired. I tried my level best not to sound alarmed or suspect.
"Well, me and my sister were playing with our dog and then I flipped over on the couch and then some of it got up my nose and now I gotta sneeze a lot." He just kept walking like he was reciting what he had at lunch. And I know it wasn't couch because I was at lunch with him.
So I am trying to imagine exactly how this kid could think that he got some couch up his nose. I could see this as plausible if he was horsing around with his little sister on the family couch. I could imagine that the dog was mixed up in their horseplay and perhaps some of the dog's hair tickled his nose and made him sneeze. That might, just might have occurred and as a result he would think he got some couch up his nose. When I was in first grade I put a hairclip on my nose and when I took it off 10 minutes later I noticed that I had an indentation where the clip had been. When I went over to Autumn and Brooke Toney's house for dinner her mom Mary asked me where I got my nose indentation from. I sheepishly told her that I got it from the hairpin when I put it on. I was secretly glad to get the secret off my chest as I had been quite ashamed that I maimed myself at age 6. I just couldn't believe my mom never noticed. Well, Mick and Mary Toney laughed really hard and told me that I couldn't have possibly done that to my nose myself. She was asking which parent had the same shape nose in my family. So, in light of this experience I can imagine that this kid thinks he has some couch up his nose.
By then we were at our usually reading spot and we started into our lesson. About 10 minutes into the lesson he starts sneezing. I thought it was pretty amazing that a kid who can't manage to carry the 1 to the second column in an addition problem could actually make himself sneeze. There must be a job out there for a kid with this skill.
He sneezed again...harder. Then again, and again with increasing vigor. He was in a full fledged sneezing fit. I hand him a wad of napkins and tell him to blow his nose. He gives a wimpy blow. "No, really blow your nose, really hard. Like you mean it!" I commanded.
Obediently he did it and I immediately wished he hadn't. Out comes a half dollar size of yellow couch foam that was stuck up his nose. It was the only time in my life I actually wanted to instantly toss my cookies. He actually had that wad of couch pushed up his nose and it made him sneeze all day. He wanted to keep it to show his family. So I asked him to explain to me again how such a large piece of foam got up his nose.
He lowered his head and said, " I was picking pieces off the couch and put them up my nose."
"Why?" I asked evenly (again, trying not to vomit).
"Because I like to put things up there so I can take them out."
We had a long talk all the way to the bus about how a Kleenex is the only appropriate thing to put up your nose. Even then it must come right back out.
Yep. That was my job at the school.
Near the end of each day I would tutor a 3rd grade student in reading. Since he had a tumultuous homelife it was my daily work to make our time special and uplifting before I put him on bus for home. As we walked along the breezeway towards our reading spot he starts with, "Mrs Jackson, if I sneeze it's because I have some couch up my nose".
"Oh. Ok then." was my reply. My kids at the elementary school were often in a world somewhere between Never-never land, The Willy Wonka Factory and Walmart. Anything was possible and plausible. Although he hadn't sneezed at all at this point. Then my brain registered what he said and I asked, "Wait, you have what up your nose?"
"Some couch." was his matter-of-fact reply.
"How did you get some couch up there?" I inquired. I tried my level best not to sound alarmed or suspect.
"Well, me and my sister were playing with our dog and then I flipped over on the couch and then some of it got up my nose and now I gotta sneeze a lot." He just kept walking like he was reciting what he had at lunch. And I know it wasn't couch because I was at lunch with him.
So I am trying to imagine exactly how this kid could think that he got some couch up his nose. I could see this as plausible if he was horsing around with his little sister on the family couch. I could imagine that the dog was mixed up in their horseplay and perhaps some of the dog's hair tickled his nose and made him sneeze. That might, just might have occurred and as a result he would think he got some couch up his nose. When I was in first grade I put a hairclip on my nose and when I took it off 10 minutes later I noticed that I had an indentation where the clip had been. When I went over to Autumn and Brooke Toney's house for dinner her mom Mary asked me where I got my nose indentation from. I sheepishly told her that I got it from the hairpin when I put it on. I was secretly glad to get the secret off my chest as I had been quite ashamed that I maimed myself at age 6. I just couldn't believe my mom never noticed. Well, Mick and Mary Toney laughed really hard and told me that I couldn't have possibly done that to my nose myself. She was asking which parent had the same shape nose in my family. So, in light of this experience I can imagine that this kid thinks he has some couch up his nose.
By then we were at our usually reading spot and we started into our lesson. About 10 minutes into the lesson he starts sneezing. I thought it was pretty amazing that a kid who can't manage to carry the 1 to the second column in an addition problem could actually make himself sneeze. There must be a job out there for a kid with this skill.
He sneezed again...harder. Then again, and again with increasing vigor. He was in a full fledged sneezing fit. I hand him a wad of napkins and tell him to blow his nose. He gives a wimpy blow. "No, really blow your nose, really hard. Like you mean it!" I commanded.
Obediently he did it and I immediately wished he hadn't. Out comes a half dollar size of yellow couch foam that was stuck up his nose. It was the only time in my life I actually wanted to instantly toss my cookies. He actually had that wad of couch pushed up his nose and it made him sneeze all day. He wanted to keep it to show his family. So I asked him to explain to me again how such a large piece of foam got up his nose.
He lowered his head and said, " I was picking pieces off the couch and put them up my nose."
"Why?" I asked evenly (again, trying not to vomit).
"Because I like to put things up there so I can take them out."
We had a long talk all the way to the bus about how a Kleenex is the only appropriate thing to put up your nose. Even then it must come right back out.
Yep. That was my job at the school.
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