Imajackson -You'd Think I'd Cope Better By Now

Before I forget...

2010-08-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

Although today is my son's birthday, I wanted to blog that my daughter learned how to read last week and tonight her bottom teeth seem loose and her gums swollen! I think she is going to get her adult teeth pretty soon! It's been a big month of changes as the kids are both growing quickly this month and they are taller then their peers. In fact, as of yesterday my little guy was 2, and I had to buy him 5t shirts to fit over his big head! My girl is 4 and a half and she seems to be moving into a size 7! How is that possible? I think it might be all the fruit and vegetables we've been feeding them. Or it might be genetics. At any rate, they are precious to me and I am so glad to be their mom.

My Little Man and His Big Thoughts

2010-08-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

To My Dear Son,

You were born today 3 years ago just a few blocks from our house. It was in the morning and you were eager to get out and I was eager to meet you! You were surprisingly blond haired and you slept quite a bit. I was so surprised about those two things since you were so opposite of Sarah! Or maybe I had changed a lot in the 22 months between you.

These last 6 months have been a whirlwind of change my little man! Your language development surprises everyone and just a little while ago you called across the Birthday party to say, "Mom! Look, I'm ranging!" I think you meant "arranging" and I was amazed you knew what the word meant! You were trying to tell me you knew how to work with the tools and I giggled with Ms. Codi about it. You just delight me little man. You talk all the time these days and when Sarah holds the conversation for too long you just get louder and louder! It's funny now, but I don't know about it in a year. My favorite things from the last few months are:

1.) Naming your very first imaginary animal friend - a cat named Roodles. Although you say "magination". So cute.

2.) Making connections about things you see and telling us all out loud. It is so great to hear your mind working and identifying one thing and remembering you've seen the same thing somewhere else.

3.) Saying to me in a cross voice, "Mom, I love you." Sort of like it's a statement like "I don't like peas." It's so funny and endearing to me to hear you say it like that. It's like you want to tell me, but not in a sweet and girly way. It's so like you to do it on your own. In your own way.

4.) You are really starting to like stories read to you. Before you liked me to make up songs to you before bed, but now you actually sit up and look at the pages of the book as I read aloud. It's so, precious to be the deliverer of stories and information for you. I feel like I have a honored position, to be the steward of your stories!

5.) Your prayer every time we pray, "Dear Jesus, fank you for my Mom an my Dad an Sarah an Amen." Sometime you add Ali and Jack too.

6.) You crawl all over me all the time! I know it won't last so I try to let you crawl on me as much as I can handle it. You are a total wiggle worm, but you are sweet and like to be with me. I'll take that in a heart beat!

7.) You laugh lights up my heart. You sort of giggle, but when your Daddy gets to tickling you under your chin- you are a crack up! It's so great! You also laugh a lot when you are surprised. It's so awesome!

8.) You went tinkle in the potty this week! Last Monday you did the deed and you've been really trying ever since. It's so great to see this milestone and a tiny bit sad since this is the last vestige of your baby-ness. I will miss it, but I know you need to grow.

9.) You eat bananas every day. I think it's because you can get up to the counter and get one yourself. But it's great and you are awfully cute about it all .Plus you eat just about every fruit I put in front of you- except peaches! We gave you one this week and it came right back out of your mouth! I think you don't prefer the texture. It was funny to see your face when you realized you didn't like it. It cracked me up and I relented. I mean, no one can like every fruit, right?

10.) You act like a baby kitty all the time. All. The. Time. It's the first sound I hear when I wake up and the sound I hear all the time. I give you an instruction and and I hear, "Meow, meow, Ok Mom." Why you love cats, I don't know. I should get you on camera being a cat. That will crack your wife up some day. Think I'll do that tomorrow.

Little man, you had a big birthday today. You had a car cake and balloons and party hats and chicken nuggets (or as we call them mom-ugnets ). You played with your friends and had a great party. And you even shared your Orange-y gum with all the guests at the party. Good job growing up little man. I love almost every minute of it. I cannot imagine our lives without you my son. What joy and delight we would have missed. Thank you Lord for such a happy and delightful little boy. I love you with all I have little man.

Love, Your Mom.

Forgetting to Blog

2010-05-18T20:38:00.001-07:00

Yikes! It's been over a month! So sorry to my one reader! And my children who will someday read this and then laugh at me. It's been a crazy month around here. My girl finishes her first year of preschool tomorrow. Then we are doing "Manners School" for a while. It seems the children I know (ahem, I mean that I parent) have reverted back to animals lately. So we are going back to the basics of manners and expectations. I'll let you know how it goes...

We're working on the yard a lot this spring. It's more the final 10% that needs to be done like the last of the bark, weeding here and there. Not many capital changes, save the last piece of fence to go in on the side yard. When that goes in and I get a locking door on the shed my life will be SO MUCH EASIER. I won't sweat it when my kids are in the yard and my back is turned. Like today when I turned away to pull a weed and my little guy took a swing seat to the cheekbone. He's fine over all, but it turned into a major event. My girl has a way of making everything about her and needs some work on self control in times like that. At this point it annoys me and I had a hard time drumming up the calm and cheerful demeanor to help her through her grief that her disobedience caused such injury to her brother. Sheesh. Hope he forgets this or else they are going to be in therapy for a loooooonnng time.

Oh, I have been reading another blog called Afterthoughts. The author Brandy reads a lot of Wendell Berry and she writes about how the earth wants to be covered. Our desire to keep it barren is against it's nature. So they are experimenting with groundcover gardening. It's where there is always something planted in the beds, and when you want a vegetable to grow there you simply cut out a small part of the ground cover and put in the plant. The cover acts as a weed barrier, a natural water retention program and a pest control with nitrogen in the soil from the roots. Very smart if you ask me...

That's all I have for now. Enjoy this photo of my little man. He's such a star (if I can ever get this to load up...).

I love a good pressure cooker

2010-04-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

We are down to the last 8 packages of beef in our freezer. This is a good thing since the meat was butchered over 15 months ago and it seems to have suffered some freezer burn. The ground beef has been fine but the steaks have a bizarre taste- almost like fish. Yet it's only the fat on the meat. The muscle tastes fine when I cut off all the fat completely. So I take out a hunk of beef and thaw it. Then I spend a lot of time trimming it and then trying to come up with a recipe that will mask any lingering weird taste. So far we've had good luck with a curry and pot roast. That's where the pressure cooker comes in. If I sear the meat in the pressure cooker before I put the lid on then all I add is spices and water and lock the top. Then I put it on the stove and let it heat up to the proper pressure and then cook it until perfection. I cool down the whole cooker in my sink with ice water until the pressure is at zero and I can open the top.

My cooker is also a canner and I can use it to can meats and highly acidic foods that cannot be water bath processed. Oh how I love that thing. I got it on super sale at Fred Meyers and it was less then 40% of it's regular price. It's awesome to pop in food and watch it cook in about 35% of the time it would otherwise. I suspect I saved about 6 hours using it yesterday. That piece of meat was huge and it would have been in the crock pot or oven for 8 hours or more.

I highly suggest everyone get a canner/pressure cooker for their kitchen. They are great to use and save time and energy. I'm all for that.

My Favorite Time of the Year

2010-04-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

This is the picture looking up at my favorite tree during the spring. I think it's a fruitless cherry and it is in my neighbors yard. For a few days in the spring it is an explosion of white snowy blossoms that seems to fill the sky. I took this picture looking up in the late afternoon and also a close up so you can see what I love. My kids and I call it, "The Snowball Tree". When the petals fall it's like a snowy day with the little white snowflake petals swirling to the ground. It's magical.

Bit by Bit

2010-04-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

Our church is gearing up for their yearly garage sale which is actually held in the Barn. Maybe we should rename it. At any rate I've had a pile of things downstairs for about a month and I finally had to cover it with a sheet to keep the kids from getting into it. I took quite a few boxes over a few days ago and then I took a big box to the kid resale store as well. Hopefully I will get some store credit I can use! Since it was mostly toys we took over, I think I will let them choose some new toys in the summer when they get bored and need some new and shiny.

With all the shedding and sorting and loading OUT of the house...somehow I feel much lighter already! I also promised the last of my maternity clothes to a lady at my eye Doctor's office and I still have a bag of nice size 10 shoes to do something with. Tis the season to shed the stuff.

I've found that it's so much easier to function when we have less. I cleaned out the pantry yesterday and sorted and threw away what was old. It looks great and it is much easier to find things. I tried to get the whole kitchen cleaned...but with the ants taking up residence I battled them instead. Since my girl is home with a fever I think I might get to the kitchen counters today as well. It's bit by bit around here.

My son is having atmospheric tantrums as of late. You know the ones where you think, "I'm not sure Dr. Dobson ever met one like this...." It's crazy. I realized that I won't be able to out-man him for much longer. He is a very strong kid and VERY DETERMINED. Ahem. He's just like his father like that. When he decides his mind...there is no outside force that can change it. He might relent in action, but his mind will not change lest he decide to do so. Since my son is 2 we've been trying to find more ways for him to "do it myself" as he says. So I am trying to chill out about him taking things off the counters, and allow him to use pencils to draw, dress himself (if I have the hour) and help around the house in general. At other times he just wants to be babied. He wants to be carried and he wants to play pretend baby puppy or kitty. He wants to snuggle with me and be held a lot. So he seems to be straddling toddlerhood and babyhood. He seems torn on the inside about what he wants. And oh man...is that struggle unfun for me! He just rages at times during timeouts and when he loses his chance at things. It's hard for him to understand that an opportunity doesn't last forever. 10 minutes is just that. Then it's time to move on. We cannot wait on him. It's hard to decide to do a thing AFTER your mother has declared the consequence and then believe it's the same as you having done the thing before the consequence. Like changing your mind is the same thing as doing the action when it was asked. As a man once told me, "Delayed obedience IS disobedience." So it's hard to be 2 around here and thankfully I have a lot of experienced moms around me to coach me through this season. I know from my first child that the season of baby kitties and snuggles and being held by mommy does not last forever. Right now he just came in the kitchen singing "I going to color" and then proceeded to get out the crayons and get into a chair and start coloring. He's so big. And yet he's so small! Sigh. Is this what we are like before the Lord? Resisting our growth and throwing tantrums before God? I wonder...I really wonder.

Some days are like this:

2010-03-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

You run out of coffee and then you forget the littlest one's sweatshirt. Then your contacts get all cloudy and dry right after you put them in. Then when you are taking a 96 second bathroom break your daughter comes in and announces, "Mom, I killed all the ants dead for you." and you forget to congratulate her on her bravery because you get sidetracked on where the ants are. So then you spend half an hour with the vacuum downstairs getting all the little ants on the carpet that were seeking out the dirty car seat parked in the middle of the room and you have to spray Raid into the nozzle of the vacuum just to make sure those suckers are dead. Then you make a nice dinner with some zucchini and decide to make your kids eat one single bite before dinner was over. Your 2 year old son holds it in his mouth for about 10 minutes as you try to entice him to swallow the bite. So then you take out the chocolate covered raisins and tell him he can't have any until he swallows the vegetable. You try to say it nonchalantly as he is coughing with his mouth closed. He then throws up on his dinner plate and says, " Canna have chocolate raisins now?" and you just pick up the plate and hand over the raisins.

Sickness and Churchless

2010-03-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

My little guy is on the tail end of a 4 day run of fevers and runny nose. It's like a faucet is turned on up in there. He is in a good mood most of the time, cries a lot when he is feeling the temp go up and is sacked out like a light when he has some Motrin and a comfy pillow. Last night he was a riot around 8:45 pm when he came downstairs to tell me he was hungry. So I gave him some milk and some pretzels (for the salt loss) and he just talked a mile a minute. The motrin had brought his fever back down to normal and he was just a delight to sit with while he ate. He is so sweet!

My darling daughter is at church as we speak, since my sister in law came and picked her up since I can't take the little guy to church. She is so very sweet and she loves to learn about the Lord and to be with her friends from her class. She got her bangs cut yesterday (she is growing her hair out to look like Arial from the Little Mermaid) and she asked me if she looked like she was 4 or if she was 5. I told her she looked more like she was 5 lately. Her little heart is more like 4, but her mind and height is more like 5. Oh how I love that girl!

I wish I had something profound to post, but I do not. This is just a "in the trenches" post about our little daily lives. Thankfully my husband comes home tonight from his trip. I really look forward to that...I need a work out. Oh, and tomorrow is Spring Break which means I have the week off of work. WOOHOO!

Coolest T Shirt Ever.

2010-03-17T13:15:00.001-07:00

My husband goes on a trip with his family every year to Reno. They always make mixed cd's for the trip with various themes. This year it was "Guilty Pleasures" where each guy had to submit 3 songs they like but would be mortified if any other guy knew. We joked about the "Mortification Tour" a few months ago and that's when the lightbulb went off and I knew it had to be a t-shirt. My friend Cody (who is seriously cool) designed the logo lettering and we had a winner. I was the one who got to mix the set of embarrassing songs and can I just say there were 3 George Michaels songs? One Miley Cyrus, one Hanson, one Aha and two, count em' TWO New Kids On the Block Songs. I actually had to buy one from Amazon. A complete waste of 99 cents I am sure. Image is copywrited. Just so you know.

Oooh. This hurts too close to home.

2010-03-13T18:43:00.000-08:00

From the newly introduced blog Practical Theology for Women (well, new to me at least):

"I know from Genesis 2:18 that God has called me to be a HELPER to my husband. Okay. Fine. But I’m egocentric in even how I define the term “help”. I want to help him the way I THINK HE NEEDS HELP. I want to make him the dinners I want to make him. I want to buy him clothes that I want to buy him. I want to decorate our house the way I want to decorate it. I want to give unsolicited advice that I think he needs. And then I make him feel guilty if he doesn’t respond in flowing gratitude for the “help” I gave him. But that kind of help is so self-centered, it is worthless to the person I think I am helping. I wouldn’t take a roast dinner to a family of vegetarians or buy a Barbie doll for the new parents of a baby boy. But that’s kind of how my egocentric view of helping my husband comes across at times. Instead, I have had to learn to help my husband in the ways HE truly finds helpful. And there is a BIG difference in the two. Here’s a practical piece of advice that may seem obvious: ASK YOUR HUSBAND WHAT HE WOULD FIND HELPFUL. Then ask him an even tougher question—WHAT DO I DO IN OUR HOUSE THAT IS NOT HELPFUL? And instead of pouting because he hurt your feelings, really listen to his answer and give him the freedom to be honest."

How brilliant is this woman?

Thanks to Sallie at A Quiet Simple Life for the link!

Sorry, my last post was forver ago!

2010-03-12T17:07:00.000-08:00

So I am thinking about blogging once more. I like the immediacy of Facebook and the easy status updates. Yet I cannot put a whole story there due to the constraints of 420 characters. So I think I am going to come back to blogging as my little world for you to see. There are a lot of sites I like to read and interesting things I like to post about and I'd like one place for all of those things.

Today is day 3 of my girl's fever and cough. We went to the Dr. today and was told not to worry. We're hoping for NO FEVERS tonight so I can take her to her first little Preschool birthday party tomorrow. Sweet little thing has been asking all week "How many days until Saturday Mom?". I keep counting them down for her and now we're 24 hours out. I prepared her to know that she might not be able to attend (from her sickness) but that we still have one more party Sunday afternoon we will likely attend. It's her cousin's birthday and so if we miss one we still have the other. Mom's know how HARD it is to disappoint your children.

My husband has been away a lot lately- late at work mostly. So it feels like forever since I got out of the house. I also broke my glasses and so my 10 year old ones are standing in the gap until I choose a new pair next week. I lost the prescription paper (I hauled to Hawaii and back and NOW I can't find it?) so I am tempted to just go to a quicky place and do a new exam and new glasses all at once.

We're back in the saddle about the budget again. We were a little wiggly about it for a while but we're back in line now. It's the first budget meeting where no one cried and no one got mad. Hrmmm...only took about 7 years. Of course now we need some work done on the car we are trying to sell and we found the truck we bought does NOT have a tow package. Sigh. Isn't it always like this?

I know I should cook some chicken for dinner, but frankly I really want to order out tonight. My husband has eaten out 2 nights in a row and I am too tired to cook. We were up for 2 hours last night checking fevers and heart rates. So now I am tired and I want someone to deliver dinner to my door. BUT I know that I will regret that since I have about 5 nights alone this month at the end and I will be wishing I had saved our "eating out" money for then. So for tonight it looks like frozen potstickers or taquitos or scrambled eggs.

Ok, enough drivel. Next post will have more substance, ok?

For Tamara and Amy K

2009-10-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

This is for you two, though there might be some other reader of my long lost blog out there somewhere. Amy K sent me a message recently about putting time and energy into her real friendships that require time and effort. Facebook status updates don't count. I am guilty of that to the hilt. I'm on Facebook a lot compared to what I need to be. So, all that to say this blog post effort is for the two of you so you know where my mind is and what I do each day.

Today I hit the baseball out of the park on the homefront. I picked almost all the last of the garden produce: zuchinni, green tomatoes, 4 bell peppers, cucumbers and rhubarb. Much later I canned two quarts of pickles which are so simple it almost isn't funny. But earlier in the afternoon I cleaned out the master closet to create a little work area. I uncovered the teak breakfast table I bought my mom when I was 14 (for Mother's Day). Then I moved in a lamp, moved around all the clothes and boxes and cleaned both bathrooms. It looks nice in there and I finally have a place where the kids can't get to the scissors and I can do a craft project and stop in the middle without fear of cereal spilling on it 30 minutes later. I'd go get a picture if it, but the baby is sleeping in my room and I am not waking that kid for anything save a fire. I was just about to say "And the second coming of Christ" but then it freaked me out to think I might be raptured and some of the kids would be here alone. Then I remembered the verse about the kids being saved through their parents and I relaxed knowing all the kids would come to heaven with me if that happened. They are all under the age of reason so they are in the clear. Weird thoughts I know.

I also cleaned up about 2 gallons of little acorns yesterday. I worried someone would slip on them since a lot of folks walk in our cul-de-sac and the sidewalk was rife with acorns. Our pin oak in the front is dropping them like crazy. I looked about an hour ago and the sidewalk was filling up again. So I guess I have some work cut our for me. Our lawn is going to be pin oak nursery if I don't get out there and get them off the lawn. I still have about 3 or 4 wheelbarrows of bark to spread too. Alan will have to do the gravel. My spine can't take the load of gravel.

What else? I just made some pizza dough to freeze and to make pigs in a blanket (pizza dough wrapped hot dogs) for the kids for lunch. Have you ever made those? Knowing Amy K and Tamara, I bet you both use whole wheat flour for this kind of thing. I only buy white flour in bulk, so maybe next time.

I am on the look out for apples! I want to make a huge batch of applesauce for the winter again. Most of the apple sources have gone bad this year. I also have about 4 lbs of rhubarb to deal with today. I think I might have to make some jam, or a pie. I think I have a frozen pie crust in the freezer I could use. But we're still working on the Costco pumpkin pie I bought last weekend. Those are so much bigger when you get them home. It's weird.

That's all I have at present!

Ross Update

2009-07-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

My little man is amazing us all with his words, powerful build and his sweet nature. He's going through a lot of tantrums now as he struggles his needs and wants with his ability to describe it to us. He cracked me up yesterday when we got home from the store as he foraged through the pantry for snacks. I just let him since he was working so hard to open packages of raisins and fish crackers. Later on he figured he wanted an apple so he pulled one down from the package on the counter and walked around the kitchen taking little bites here and there. It looked like a red wiffle ball by the time dinner came around.

He likes to be tickled by Daddy a LOT. Yesterday he nestled himself into his Daddy's arms for tickles and kisses like a baby. He did NOT like the fireworks but he was content to just watch some Blues Clues with me and play with toys at his auntie's house. He's blonde and sweet and a joy to snuggle in the morning. He talks all the time now and he really likes to sing Happy Birthday or Twinkle Little Star or a lullaby I sing him by Cindy Morgan. He's our boy and I am so glad we have him. He's likely to be a linebacker at his stature, so I'll be sure to take my kisses and snuggles now while he fits in my arms. I love having a boy.

Oh, she is just the spitting image

2009-07-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

Naptime yesterday I tucked in my daughter while laying on her bed and reading a book to her. When we talked for a while she pinched me. I was mad, and it hurt! She looked guilty and sad. I left her room and went to take a shower. Later I went back to her room since she was still awake and I told her I forgave her for pinching me. She said she was sorry and that next time I shouldn't lay on her bed. I asked, "You pinched me because I laid on your bed?" She replied, "Yeah". I was a bit shocked to hear that and I admonished her for doing that and told her again that it really hurt. Although I was happy to see that she had come up with a plan to prevent it from occurring again. It just wasn't the plan I was aiming for. She smiled and went to bed.

Tonight I read her the story of King Solomon and his dream where God promised him anything he wanted. I asked Sarah what she would ask God for if God made the same offer. She thought for a minute and replied, "Help to believe...and things I need." I was surprised at her answer so I asked her to repeat it. She looked at me like she was amazed I didn't understand her and said, "Faith."

She would ask God for faith. I get teary again just typing it.

Things I wish I could tell my husband today!

2009-06-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

Sadly, he is on a super secret training and we won't hear from him until Friday. So to be sure I don't forget here is my list:

1. Our daughter used the word similar correctly in a sentence today in the van. I almost started crying out of joy and my pride in her development. She's three, mind you, about 3 and a half. It's a rare word for a 3 year old to know and use with ease. It was so great!

2. On the other hand, she was still completely freaked out about the part of the Vacation Bible School with the apostle Paul and the Roman guard. She was so upset, her Grandma had to hold her out on the porch of the little house because of her fear. So, her heart is 3 for sure, as any suspense is quite scary for her. Sweet little thing has sensitive heart. I was like that too and I don't want to put more fears in her then she will naturally pick up anyway.

3. My son said he loves me. He just started this last week. He is so full of life, a tantrum one minute and a hug and kiss and giggle the next. He's trying so hard to be a big boy! His most used phrase to me lately is, " Idoit!" I cannot kiss that boy enough.

4. Breyers finally makes a half fat Mint Chocolate chip ice cream. Hooray for me! It's really good!

5. I am previewing the old Winnie the Pooh video from Disney to check it to see if my girl can watch it. Pooh just fell out of the tree and bounced down the branches, I'm not sure she's gonna take that in stride. Kids are literal and empathize with the characters. So, I don't know if it's a good idea to let her see it. I'll finish this tonight to see if she can watch it tomorrow.

And that's it for today!

God Walks Away and Flies

2009-06-10T20:35:00.001-07:00

My sweet 3 and a half year old daughter made up this song about 9 months ago and likes to sing it from time to time. It goes like this: God walks away and flies, God walks away and flies...God walks away and flies and on and on to just about any tune she likes at that moment. It's pretty sweet and she likes to sing it to us at night. Alan sings a song that is a lullaby from his childhood that has some line about, "stay awake, don't go to sleep" which sounds weird but it's a very sweet song for a little kid. I usually sing "Over and Under" by Cindy Morgan and also an Indian lullaby called "Suli Ram" I learned in college. We sing a lot in this family. My son is on a Blues Clues kick and asks us to sing him Blues Clues jingles, so we oblige, but I can't claim to remember the words. That's Alan's department.

I hope I always take time to put my kids to bed. I have very tender memories of my mother rubbing my back when I went to sleep with the bathroom light on to shine into my room. I can remember the sweet and secure feeling of my mother's hands and her presence on my bed. So whenever my daughter asks me to come and put her to bed, or when she wakes up and comes in to see us in the night, I always get up and put her back into bed myself. I just want her to remember that I am always going to help her and be her companion in life. Even when she would rather I not. I know it will happen, for that is how young women define themselves and become themselves- they oppose and resent their mothers for a time. I watch it often with high schoolers. Well, if my kids don't remember their early childhood, they still have this blog. I wish my mother would have blogged, she would have been a blogging queen. Alas, I think she was too much a struggling perfectionist to journal. So all I have is all we'll ever have of her. I just want to leave my children more.

So I was going to start blogging again and then I forgot.

2009-05-28T14:46:00.001-07:00

I have the memory of a gnat I am sure. I seem to forget everything from my husband's social security number, my kids last doctor visit, where I wrote down the last paycheck amount and if I moved the laundry out of the washer to the dryer. Somethings are silly like where I put the peanut butter knife down on the counter, or forgetting to get more soap out of the cabinet for the shower. Other things are really starting to bother me. Growth as a mom is my most pressing example.

Today I didn't eat breakfast and I wanted to take a shower. That means I was grumpy but didn't know why and I had to corral the kids upstairs while I took a 30 nano second shower before they dismantled the heating system or reprogrammed the dish network. But I didn't tell them, "Ok, we are going upstairs so I can take a quick shower before we go to the Post Office". No, instead I kept telling them to go upstairs. They were playing with markers and saw it all as an option in life to obey me. I got really mad and raised my voice and put my son in a time out in his room and scared my daughter with my sarcastic words and mad voice.

As I turned I looked at the mirror and I heard God say (and you know this was God because I don't talk like this) " You are teaching her how to talk to you like that when she is 14."

Gulp. I showered and then went and apologized to her. I got my son out of time out (his crib). We went to the Post office and whatnot. Even though I told my daughter twice that I should not have talked to her that way and I asked for forgiveness she still took quite the angry and defiant tone with me today a few times. So you can see we have to ground to reclaim.

So what does this admission have to do with my memory? Everything actually. I worry I will forget this like I forget the cute things Rossy says right now. I don't want to forget that what I learned today when I am really irritated at the kids. I want to think about this BEFORE I talk. Frankly, I think I need a brain transplant at times so I can undo all the junk I've learned to do over the years. It seems more reasonable to start over then to reform what I already am. But that's another post I am sure.

I hate that I forget. Pray I remember.

When I think I am off the Mark

2009-04-22T16:12:00.000-07:00

I can remember this:

Today I served a vegetable at lunch that my girl does not prefer. I have been going back to the "we eat what we need before we eat what we want, or we eat healthy things before junk food" philosophy. So, I have been taking a harder stand on healthy foods consumed at mealtimes. Which seems weird, but I find I have been raising a very picky eater, and frankly, I don't run a restaurant. All that to say: We had a showdown. I gave options, eat it and be done with it, or sass me some more and then get disciplined and THEN eat the vegetable. Sadly, she decided on door #2. It grieved me to send her away and administer the consequence of her decision. After she woke up from a nap I told her she had to eat the vegetable at the table before she ate her long lost peanut butter sandwich. I waffled and second guessed about whether I did the right thing. I ate my vegetable in front of her to show her we are all in the same boat. But I struggled as balked, and I wondered if I am creating a situation where eating is her power front. But she has a million other choices each day, so it's not as if this is her only option for choices, preferences or self expression. It's that she doesn't want to eat healthy foods and we can't afford for her to keep it up.

So, as I sat here next to her she ate the carrot and when she was finished she turned to me and said, "Mommy, thank you for teaching me how to chew up the carrot and eat it."

I sighed and kissed her on the cheek.

Parenting is not what I thought it was going to be. I think that's good for me. I hope it's good for the kids.

My son

2008-12-01T14:04:00.001-08:00

Oh, he is just getting cuter every moment. He talks all the time now, saying everything we do. It's just so endearing. He is walking like a champ, with exceptional balance and strength. He loves to try to use the water dispenser and I regularly have to clean up the water puddle underneath. He is precious, strong willed and delightful. I am so glad to have him in our family. God is so good.

My Foodie Blog

2008-11-12T16:02:00.000-08:00

I just launched a new food blog! It's called CheapeatsfromOregon and it's all about feeding your family on less then you used to. There is a wealth of information out there for the younger generation to learn from and I intend to ferret it out and post it on the blog! So, if you have any tricks up your sleeve for feeding your family on less, LET ME KNOW! You can e-mail me at cheapeatsfromoregon at gmail dot com!

Thanks, and here's to getting something on the table for dinner!

Humble Moment

2008-10-22T18:05:00.000-07:00

Conversation between my toddler and me today.

Me: I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ARE SO OBNOXIOUS RIGHT NOW. (Said to the screaming 13 month old I was holding)

Her: (walking in the kitchen tentatively) Mommy, maybe Wossy needs a nap.

Me: You think he needs a nap?

Her: Yeah.

Me: And maybe Mommy needs to be in a better mood. Can you pray with me to ask God to help me be in a better mood?

Her: Dear Jejus, sank you for Wossy in a better mood and Mommy too, amen.

Me: (Crying silently) Thank you, that was a beautiful prayer.

I heart Bill Moyers

2008-09-13T07:42:00.000-07:00

It used to be that I wanted to have lunch with Oprah Winfrey. I thought lunch with her would be fascinating, as she has a hand in so many areas of life in the US and Africa. She had an unusual rise to power, and has a penchant for education and property, both areas of interest to me. But since her recent blatant move to Universalism/New Age I decided I am really not that interested in lunch with her after all. I mean, it's my pipe dream, right? I can want to lunch with anyone I want. So, I decided that I would rather have lunch with Bill Moyers.

WHO DOES NOT LOVE BILL? He is the most worthwhile hour on television. He has the most informative, well thought out news journals. He chooses the most knowledgeable guests and they have awesome discussions on his show. There isn't a hint of Bill O'Reilly-ism anywhere, as guests are asked their thoughts and opinions, they do not serve as a conduit to force the hosts' own ideas and agenda. Bill Moyers has years of experience and wisdom under his belt and can seemingly cut through chaff to get to the real wheat.

Last night Bill had his journal devoted to the press, shock-jocks, and the Presidential candidates McCain, but more specifically Sarah Palin. It brought up some really interesting points, and I strongly urge everyone to watch the piece. In fact, I urge you to watch every week at 9pm on Fridays on PBS. It's the best hour of news.

Here is the link from last night's broadcast: Free Speech or Foul?

He is One

2008-08-27T15:29:00.000-07:00

Oh, my sweet little son! You are one this very day. With your toothy grin and wide smile you greet me as I come into your room in the morning. Your hair is too long, slightly curly and blonde and you are built like a boy with length and an iron grip with your hands. No one can believe you are only one. I know you are one, it's been a long year. Not that is was very hard, it just went more slowly then your sister's first year of life.

I can easily remember your birth, since you and I were obviously anxious to see each other. You can hard and fast and I wasn't ready for the pain. Daddy was calm and not surprised to see your reddish-blonde hair. I was surprised, for I expected you to look like Sarah, with dark hair and fine features. No, you are yourself and not like her. You are calm most of the time and you slept a lot as a newborn. You are happy to be around, and you like to laugh when you pull your sister's hair and imitate her saying, "Ouwie!" It's still your favorite game, after all these months.

You are pulling yourself up on everything you can lately and you like to pull things off shelves and tables. You pulled a cup of water over yourself two days ago, since it was above your head on the dining room table. You just took it on stride and managed to get some of the last of the water from the cup in your mouth, sopping wet that you were. You also have started to point at things with your right hand and tell me you want them. You LOVE to be chased by Daddy around the house and you adore bath time with Sarah. Splashing in the water is a riot to you, even when I chastise you for soaking the bathroom floor.

You are a joy my son, and I am amazed that I get to raise you into a man. When it's my turn to put you to bed, I pray this prayer, "Lord, I pray he follows you all the days of his life. I pray he obeys you and loves you. I pray he is a leader among men and he humbles himself as that he will become a good father and a good husband."

Happy birthday to my little man.

Ummm, not sure

2008-07-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

I am not sure I am going to keep blogging. With two needy kiddos and a house to run, I am unsure the blog serves as it should. With the precious time I have to myself I'd like to invest in the guitar and getting my spiritual self in shape.

So, if I start up again in earnest, I'll let you all know (all 5 of you).

PS: My son called me Mommy last Friday and then he said Elmo! I finally figured out he calls my girl "Ra Ra" because it's the closest he can get to her name. He is so cute!

Oh Tori, honey.

2008-07-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I caught a few minutes of the latest Tori Spelling reality show. She is the former starlet of 90210 fame, and the daughter of late Aaron Spelling who was the TV producer who produced too many popular TV shows to count.

So the premise of the show is that Tori Spelling and her 2nd husband have a 1 year old, and one on the way where they moved back to LA from their last reality show about opening a bed and breakfast. So they are now in LA and this is the conversation I caught...this is my recounting, not verbatim:

Tori: How do I know she doesn't want to have sex with you? (Referring to the cute diving instructor of her husband.)

Him: I don't think she wants to have sex with me.

Tori: But when we met you were married and you left her(former wife) for me and so now how do I know you won't do it again?

Him: I love you too much for that. Back then I was in an unhappy relationship.

Tori: It's just always at the back of my mind.

Him: You were married too. You obviously have trust issues with me.

Tori: I have trust issues with everyone. I am worried the past will repeat itself. This is just always going to be at the back of my mind.

*************************

Oh Tori, honey.

He is SO CUTE

2008-07-09T09:22:00.001-07:00

I just love this little guy. The other day I was cleaning the sink while holding him, and he kept trying to get in it. So I capitulated and we gave him a bath in the kitchen sink. He loved it, but he kept trying to get the frying pan in the sink next to him. Maybe he will cook like his daddy! That will get him a good wife fore sure!

Leaps and Bounds

2008-07-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, my little boy is growing up so fast! Last week he ate sausage, chicken and noodles in less then 12 hours. The following week he crawled up 5 stairs, said "Momma" in the cereal aisle and then crawled on all fours when we got home from the grocery store. It was amazing. About 48 hours ago he figured out how to stand up in his crib and at present he is making a scene in his room since I will not go in and pick him up out of his crib. I've already been in 3 times to help him get down and all 3 times it just seems to make him furious. So, I am waiting this out with a long overdue blog post.

My last post was all dark and twisty and I didn't mean for it to be. In retrospect my point is that the town I used to live in has lost it's appeal. The bloom is off the rose. It's not shiny and full of

folks I know. Which is normal since I did not attend church while I was there. If I had I am sure I would have seen many more people I know. It was hard to travel with a 2 year old and a 9 month old. Both kids are still off kilter with sleep schedules. In about 2 weeks we will go up to my dad's house and again, sleep schedules will go awry. That's the only part I dread about

going. Other then that we love to visit up there. I mean, who doesn't want to grandma's house when she owns a bakery? Grandma and doughnuts- what a potent combo. To top it all off, my kids are ADORED by her grandparents up there so it's win-win all around.

The yard is still at a standstill. It looks so very bad, even the neighbors are starting to ask about it. We got the bid back for the brick and cement work and it was just over 15k. Yup. No brick for us. So now we're looking at the whole thing with new eyes and trying to find what we can do just this year. We can save up for the rest later. Much, much later. I think we might swing the sprinkler system and drainage and grass. Thankfully we didn't round-up all the plants or our yard would be a complete loss right now. Oh, and just when I decide to let go of the apple trees in the front yard, they finally produce fruit. How do you like them apples? *Sigh* Oh well, we can move them in the fall.

So the church is hiring a new nursery care director and my husband wants me to put my hat in the ring. I am not sure he realizes what it will entail for ALL our family. I know we're all pulling for another mom to get it. A gal we know who would be great at it, and who needs non-traditional work while her kids are in school. So, I doubt I would be up for consideration, as we're pulling for her.

So how are grocery prices treating you? I can see that an upright non-frost freezer might be in our future. If meat goes on sale, or whatever I am going to buy it while I can. Pretty soon we will not be able to eat meat, or ice cream or chips, or packaged food of any kind. We will be growing everything and making due with beans and rice. Even the price of chicken stock went up, so soups will cost more too. (I can just hear Literary Girl posting that I can make it with veggie stock too, but it just doesn't taste the same) Even small things are more, like candy bars and paper plates.

What are you doing to beat the high prices of food? I know we are all driving less!

Old Friends

2008-06-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

We went on a trip this last week to the city I used to live and work in. It was really weird overall. I was there about 40 minutes and I thought, "I just don't belong here". It was so strange. I used to love coming back to visit and go to all my favorite places. But now, not really at all. I liked seeing my old friends, but I would have liked it just as much anywhere. I really disliked fighting all the traffic and paying so much for gas. The food is better there, since there are more artisan chefs and restaurants, but beyond that, even Trader Joes seemed lackluster. I read a quote recently that alludes to the fact we should look forward to what we will become and let go of who we were. So, I don't think I am going back to that town anytime soon. At least, not for an extended stay. Perhaps to drop by and get a cup of coffee...beyond that, I'd rather stay home.

I did really enjoy seeing my friend Tammy and Amy and seeing her kids again. She grabbed my camera and caught this photo: (I'll post as soon as I find the camera!)

-18

2008-06-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

So recently I was talking with my brother in law about working out at the gym. He told me a few tricks to try while at the gym to make my work outs more efficient. I was grateful to get some feedback since I have yet to lose anything at all since starting to exercise and weight train in earnest these past 3 months. I actually started to walk/hike last December but I didn't add the weight training until about 3 months ago. I am actually more toned then I was before but my scale has been just creeping and creeping up in numbers for about 90 days. I initially chalked the weight gain to muscle mass build and I figured that eventually I will tip the scales and my muscle mass will finally start to burn more then I consume and I"ll see some lower movement on my scale. Folks tell me often I look great, so I am motivated to go to the gym, but I don't weight myself often due to the weight gain.

Two days ago my little gal was in the bathroom and wanted me to read her the numbers on the scale. When she stepped on I was astonished to see that it read she was 50 pounds. 50! There is no way! I can hardly bench press over 70 right now. How could I hold up a 50 pound 2 year old on one arm? I started to see the light...so I went and got my two 10 lb weights and put them on the scale. It read 38 pounds.

AHA!

So I adjusted the scale to the correct weight and I weighed myself again.

I lost 18 lbs in about 4 minutes.

If You Save

2008-06-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

and spend less then you make, you work hard each day, you pay for things with cash instead of credit, if you wear your clothes until they wear out and you drive your used cars for at least 10 years...then you too can have a view like this in your retirement.

In your 3200 sq foot house with a wrap around deck looking at this each day. These folks are a pastor and a part time nurse. I know them. It's possible for just about anyone, you just have to exercise discipline each day. Thanks to Todd B for the pictures.

Heard at My House Recently

2008-06-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

This is from lasternight. (referring to a cup of water Daddy gave her before bed last night)

No, I'M the mommy. (referring to who is in charge, her or me)

Mommy, here are your begetables. (which rhymes with vegetables, which is what she means)

And finally from my son:

Mommy: "Say bottle."

Him: "Bwaawwrll."

No one was there, but I know he said it. He was just saving that for his mommy. :)

And things you never want to see: Your 2.5 year old daughter almost all the way up the 12 foot ladder to the top of the shed you are currently on, sweeping off the cedar needles. I look down the ladder and there she is, in an argyle pink dress, purple galoshes on the wrong feet and a pink sweater pulled down over her head and just one arm because, "I a mermaid, mommy". After I commanded my heart to start beating again, I carefully asked her to go down the ladder. Yeah, what the h*ll was I thinking? Sometimes you just don't think things through as a mom.

Oh Neglectful Blogger!

2008-06-05T14:29:00.001-07:00

Yes, I have been remiss in blogging as of late. Please forgive me, as I am trying to find my life. Well, actually I am trying to make my life, our life. I realize that I am the "fairytale director" for my children. I am the one who is responsible for the story reading, the imagination development, the creative play department for the people I gave birth. Along with my responsibilities of cooking, feeding, bathing, diapering, and the moral development and everything else.

I realized that last season's Battlestar Galactica seems more real to me then my own family, and I made the connection. TV is defining my children's imagination. My daughter talks more about the members of the Backyardigans then her cousins, or any other child her age. She asks me to tell her stories about them that include her in the storyline before she goes to bed at night. I recently changed our tactics to make the heroes of the stories animals, instead of TV characters. I also started to get us out of the house more to play with other kids so she can make friends in real life. Blues Clues is nice, but Blue cannot come for a playdate.

So my new endeavor is to make our real life, truly real. I want to make it enjoyable, creative, adventuresome and sometimes messy. I want to give my kids opportunities to act out their story ideas in the yard, and not in the living room in front of the TV. I want them to star in their own show, the show that will play in their memories, called their childhood. We will always re-runs on TV, but I only have this chance with my kids once. I regret that I have squandered too much already. No more.

It's raining!

2008-05-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

I love the rain in May. It's our last good shot at water in the surrounding lakes and mountains for a good snow pack for the summer. It seems like the area I live in has been in a drought since I was a little girl. I distinctly remember a severe water shortage when my parents would wake up and water the lawn at 5 am before anyone could see us watering. All our outside water was drawn from a well, so we weren't even using any city water, but all people would see was the water sprinklers on. Since my dad was mayor about that time, it seemed prudent to water in the dark. At the moment it is raining so hard my gutters cannot hold all the water and it is gushing down at the edge of one gutter making a pool at the ground near my favorite rose. I am not worried about it at all, since we ripping everything out to put new back in. In fact, we are even putting in a new water main since we'll have the ground all torn up. That way when the water main goes awry in a few years, we will already have the new one plumbed in and we won't have to tear up all the new brickwork to lay a new pipe. Pipes in our area fail after so many years, and if it holds true, we'll have to replace it while we own this house.

I had a great birthday last weekend. My husband surprised me with a trip to a local spa to get a pedicure with my best friend. Then we had a bite to eat. Then I came home to a beautiful home cooked steak, mushrooms, broccoli with cheese sauce, roasted tomato and mashed potatoes and a coconut flan for dessert. I stepped on the scale and I am up 3 pounds. That was one amazing steak folks. So I've been out of the loop for a while since we accidently severed out internet line while digging up the sprinkler heads. We even had the lines all marked all over the property so we wouldn't do that. As a result we didn't get our internet back until last night. So I have a lot of blogging catch up to do!

Kids are great. Little guy is over 20 pounds and is a beautiful little blondie. He's tenacious and smiles almost all the time. My girl continues to amaze us with her vocabulary. She also is learning about manners and inviting others to join her. I hear a lot of "Come wif me Mommy" and "Want some water Daddy?" as she runs to the cup drawer and the "water spenser" as she calls it. It's pretty great being a parent. Hard, but great.

O Sleep, Where Art Thou?

2008-05-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

I am bone tired. My little guy is really struggling to sleep in the night without my getting him a bottle multiple times each night. We have been trying to get him to sleep it out, to cry by himself and learn to fall asleep without us. Which he can do at naptime, but he seems to think waking up at night is a completely different event. So, I am very, very tired. I did get about 7 hour on both Friday and Saturday nights thanks to my awesome husband, but I am back to 5 or so hours since then. We are just dragging along here.

I also have the son of my friend here this week since his daycare lady is on vacation. He's awesome and my girl loves having a friend to play with. So it's only 1/2 a day and that's just fine for all of us. I just sorely wish we had a place for a 3rd car seat so we could go places together. Staying home gets a little boring after two weeks. There are worse things though.

The yard. Ah, the yard. We should get the final plans any day now. Then we can have it bid out and start work. Most landscapers said that homeowners don't actually take out the last sprinkler system. It is usually just capped off with the sprinkler heads taken out. We think that is so weird. We are talking about running the sprinklers for 3 days and then pulling it out ourselves. We were able to just essentially pull it out of the ground without digging a few months ago when the ground was really wet. So, we think if we get some childcare, sunscreen and Venti mochas we can take the majority out of the ground. At that point we might as well get a small tractor and just rip everything out. I hate to lose all those plants I put in as a result of birthdays money, or the plants I bought for 2 bucks and then nursed for 2 years to get in shape. So, I am thinking that I might make a top ten set of plants, dig them up and put them in pots to keep for the new yard. I know I can give away the two rose trees, but some of the others it will be a shame to lose! I really like plants, and I don't like to let them go. I just have to keep

in mind that we are going for a low maintenance yard, a completed low maintenance yard. It's hard for me to let go of stuff like that, but as my husband convinced me: I am not trusting God if I think I will never have enough money to buy it again if I need it. That always makes me put my head on straight about getting rid of stuff.

Got a pic of the back yard where a large portion of the plum tree fell off , right where we'd been standing with the kiddos about an hour before. Gives you an idea of why you should trim up your trees professionally and not leave it undone for years for the next homeowner.

Thinking

2008-05-05T16:36:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about why I post here. At first I craved some connection to my friends, and now I think I have finally developed enough friendships to assuage that deep felt loss. I finally have a life here in my little town, a life that keeps me busy, a life that I like. So I think my original reasons for blogging have changed. At this point I think I blog to keep some record for my children about who I am as a Mom, who I am as their mother. My mom died when I was 19, and I basically never knew her. She died before I came of age so to speak and so I never knew her as a peer- as a woman. She was always my mom and all about me. So I always keep that in the back of my mind as I write. I also have been very busy with my little ones. It's hard to type while holding a squirmy 8 month old who is teething. So, I read some sites, but rarely post myself.

Speaking of which- I think I came to the end of the internet recently. It has been a feeling lately that there is nothing new to read-no matter which site posts it as new. Everything just seems to be old and tired. When I look outside I see newness and color, but inside online I only see the results of evil, or pettiness, or greed. I actually had to stop reading CNN.com simply for those reasons. Even comment threads can so quickly turn acerbic and cutting. A friend stopped blogging recently and I think it was in part to a comment from a reader who posted a really weird and mean comment that mocked the author of the blog. I think that commentor has altogether too much time on their hands to be so wicked and small. It takes work to be that way, and they have squandered their talent and turned to sarcasm to injure others. It is really pathetic and I don't have enough time in my life to read crap like that. I've got a life and someone is up from their nap. Bye for now!

Short on Posts as of Late

2008-04-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

Not that my vast readership of 3 will mind so much. I've been with the kiddos and working at the church a lot these past two weeks. We are launching a new coffee cart as a mission fund raiser and it takes a lot of work to pull one together. Our youth director is building the actual cart and I am supplying the coffee know how on my end. I think I see a trip to the restaurant supply store today to pick up a few missing items. I looked at cash and carry on Friday, but I didn't see them. So I will strap the kids into the double stroller and go get the things we need for the coffee cart we don't have at present.

Our yard is coming along-the plans for the yard have come in and we have the first draft. It keeps the original shape of the yard but with a new look overall. There are pavers where the deck was going to be, and I think I like that better already. It is cooler in the summer and less expensive to maintain years to come. It also is easier to put in, we could do it ourselves should we decide to. I doubt we will since time is a premium in our house, I can imagine we'd rather have a professional do it, and put it off another year so we can save up for it. We'll see.

The "new-to-us" car is also on hold until late August/September. Yeah, I am sad about that too. I was hoping for the new car next month so I could take it to see my Dad. It is a lot bigger and nicer then our current car, so I am very sad it will not be available. In fact, I wonder if we need to think about another option for a new-to-us car. We'll see...

The kids are amazing. My daughter figured out how to kiss last night and she can now make a bonafide smacking sound. It's so cute. She is also trying all sorts of new things at home and abroad. We went to my sister in laws house yesterday and she ran around in just her little pants for about 2 hours. She looked like a wild haired banshee going from the back yard back to the deck running and laughing and eating ice cream. It was so fun to watch her have a good time with her cousins. She is a joy.

My son slept through the night Saturday night and he almost slept through last night. He only woke up once for a 6oz bottle. I introduced new protein food like chicken and turkey baby food and I have been packing him in at every meal so he can sleep through the night. My bible study ladies are praying for us as well and I know that made a difference in his sleep. We need to get him to sleep without waking up to eat every 2.5 hours. We simply have to be able to sleep.

What else- I think we're done having babies. I was waffling about it and my best friend came over and asked me, "Exactly how would you handle another baby? I mean, logistically, how would you do that?" and it became crystal clear. I am done having babies, and if God means for us to have another one we are always willing to adopt, or to take in Foster kids. My body cannot take another pregnancy, and neither can my husband. We have to be done with newborns. So, that's that. It's a relief, to be able to know I am done. I have been struggling with it for some time.

That's our news!

It's Hard To Explain

2008-04-18T16:53:00.000-07:00

I found a listing on Craigslist the other day for some clothes. There was little reccommend the buyer to me, but I wanted one item out of the lot and the price was cheap. If I didn't use any of the other clothes I could donate them and the deduction on my taxes would exceed the cost of the whole lot. Little did I know I was about to get so much more than a deduction on my taxes or a small swimsuit for my girl.

I called the seller and we agreed to meet at a grocery store in her small town about 30 minutes from my own. Since I didn't have much else to do, I decided to drive up there with the kids and get the the clothes. For nothing else, it's a nice drive. On my way out the door I had the thought I was supposed to put some groceries in a bag for her and bring it along. Then I chided myself thinking I was going to be embarassed if I gave her some groceries and she didn't need them. But the thought was nagging me so I rationalized taking the spaghetti ingredients saying to myself, "I can always leave them in the car if I have the wrong impression". So off we went.

When I met her I could tell life was hard for her. I won't divulge details here, but I will say that life has been very hard for a while for her family. One line got me straight in the heart,"Sometimes I send my daughter to her boyfriend's house so she can eat."

So I gave her the small sack of groceries and I then realized my little offering was going to be their dinner that night. They had absolutely nothing. The thought of sending your kids to another person's house to eat haunted me all the way home. So asked the gal if we could ease her burden in any way and she reluctantly agreed. I think she is surprised by her state of affairs, and they have been selling everything they have in order to eat. She recently lost 25 lbs...because they've nothing to eat. So, I asked my extended family to pitch in and provide a few essentials for this little family of four.

And that's when the floodgates opened. I mean, my family went berserk with help. We all dug through our houses to pick out items to help-toothbrushes, soap, shampoo, toilet paper, clothes, gift cards, and of course groceries. We collected so much stuff we had to take a van up to their house. Then we had to go back to take what we missed the first trip. It was so fun to be able to be the hands and feet of God. This sweet lady had been praying for God to provide food and basics for her family. You know when you are that poor you don't buy toilet paper and dish soap, or shampoo, or conditioner, or carpet cleaner, or candy, or new shoes. You only buy food and gas to get to job interviews.

God is good.

Irons in the Fire

2008-04-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

I went through a REALLY weird phase the last 14 days. I was into Lost, and I kept thinking about it-like in the middle of the night and when I was walking through the house. Weird to say the least. So I took it as a cue that I needed to get a real life. Sometimes I need commitments outside my diaper-changing existence to get my head on straight. It's that Protestant work ethic(no disrespect to the Catholics folks, it's just a Presbyterian hand-me-down from my mother). So, I got involved in a few things:

1. I am making my Brother in Law's birthday tart today. I absolutely bombed his last lemon cake about 3 weeks ago. It was SO BAD you actually couldn't keep it in your mouth. I think it was the worst thing I have ever cooked or baked in my whole life. Seriously. So I am making my other lemon curd recipe and putting it in a tart shell for my "make-up" birthday dessert. I just can't let that lemon disaster go.

2. Our church is starting a coffee cart as part of the Spring Break Fundraising drive. Our new youth director is a carpentry whiz, and I am supplying the coffee know how. So far we're working on the same premise: Excellence and consistency in all things. That doesn't mean we're going all out, we're actually trying to keep things simple so the system will work well for the high schoolers and those of us who are running it. So I have to finish the first draft of the manual tomorrow so the kids can get their food handlers card by the end of next week. Thankfully the state department has now put the test online and I don't even need to go downtown to take mine again. How cool is that?

3. I am purging a lot of stuff. Mostly baby stuff. I think perhaps we're done with newborns at this point. Maybe not, but then again, we can always buy second hand stuff if we find we want another birth child. So I am just about finished with the crib I started to refinish about 1.5 years ago, and then I am going to donate it to a charity that works with Latino families. I have been struck by the scripture about the widow, orphan and alien. We have a lot of alien families around here who work the fields during harvest.

4. I am now on a work out program we can all live with. I work out at the gym two days a week with the kids in the childcare, and then I go for a walk on the weekends. If I could, I would go to the gym 6 days a week because I like it so much. But the times I can go take away from other family time, and everything has a price. So, until my kids sleep later and go to bed earlier, I can only go to the gym two days a week.

5. We had a p*tty party this weekend. Sounds funny, but I needed a little carrot stick for my girl to get her motivation piqued! She is so social and she loves parties, so I promised one if she went p**p on the p*tty. It worked and we partied. It was fun.

That's us. How are you?

Addicted to Lost

2008-04-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

Oh my. What an addiction! We started the Lost series recently. We're almost through the 3rd season. I am so into Matthew Fox. What a perfectly designed character he is...tall, dark and twisty, handsome, chops wood, fixes people up no matter their injury, looking for a good woman, and drives a BMW. I mean, who doesn't want to be marooned with that guy? In fact, I think I am crushing on him a little bit so I went to his fan site and read an interview. You see, if I read about who the actor REALLY is, then I can get the crush out of my system, and voila! It worked. It only took about 3 questions before he talked about all his illicit drug use and I was cured. I tell you , that trick works every time I get a TV crush.

You can't blame a girl for a TV crush, those men are designed with me in mind. They play on EVERY single need and fantasy we women have in life, and they talk more like us then real men do. Let's talk about McDreamy, shall we? His hair is coifed to the single hair, just so we'll swoon. Not to mention his "my wife left me and I just want someone to love me" thing going on. He is our every dream in life. A rich man who wants to build a fantasy house overlooking a Pacific Northwest harbor who goes to work so he can settle down with a nice girl and have a family. Yup.

My man doesn't have hair like McDreamy, his is more like everymans' hair. Not quite blonde, not quite brown. He takes out the garbage and he gets holes in his shorts I have to mend during nap times. He leaves some little shaving hairs near the faucet and he makes eggs for the whole family on the weekend. He works hard, he comes home every night and he always drives the truck to the dump so I don't have to.

My man isn't a doctor at Seattle Grace, but he's MY man and he doesn't sleep with interns, he sleeps with me.

Uh, I Guess We're Adults Now

2008-03-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

We hired a landscape architect to design our yard. Wow, that sounds ostentatious as I write it, or at best, very upper class. I mean, who do I know that ever hired a landscape architect? Well, besides my sister in law when they did their 1/3 acre design out of bare dirt. Well, it was necessary- if you'll permit me to explain.

Our yard is a mess. I don't mean that we didn't clean up the leaves, or mow the lawn, I mean that it is really mixed up. We have trees that are far too big for the space they are in, we have an irrigation system that is beyond garbage, and doesn't work worth a bean. We have weird plants and poisonous plants all over the place. We have grass that doesn't grow at all, and a deck that must come out since it is original to the house in '76. Yeah, it's barely hanging on. I don't even use the deck at this point, we go out the patio entrance to get to the yard. Our front yard is awful, and our side yard looks like a vacant lot, regardless that we work on it a few times a year. So it's time we swallowed our Scrooge-like tendencies and make the yard commensurate with the house. You already know about the idea for the play structure and the new irrigation (sprinkler system) but we also want to add a few trees, take a few out and change the walk up to the front door. The front walk up is made of smooth and very slick tiles that are very dangerous to walk up in any inclement weather. We need something that has some texture to it and will drain properly instead of pool water right where we walk. There is also no walk up from the street to the door unless you walk back down the cul-de-sac and then walk all the way up the driveway and come up the stairs to the door. As the crow flies, it would be much better to put a walk way in from the street that meets up with the existing stairs as a way to the front door. Sounds complicated, but it's not. It's just weird is all, and it's a safety issue at this point. If we put tiles or brick over the exiting tile we can alleviate a lot of problems.

We also have quite an elevation change from the south end to the north end of our property, hence the need for the surveyor. My daughter came upstairs and said to me "Mom, I say hello to the man with the camera." My thought was, uh, what man with a camera? Show me honey, and she walked me downstairs to see the surveyors in our backyard taking measurements. I was relieved and I was glad they came so soon since I just called them last Thursday. When he gets the topographical map down it will go to the architect and the plans will begin. Hopefully we will only be a few months away from a completed yard. If Uncle Sam comes through like we think we possibly will have a wonderful place to spend the summer. No more trips to the park...all the packing and unpacking the car! We can just grab our sunscreen and hats and head out in our own yard to play. Whoohooo! It's so close I want to make iced tea already!

Maybe that cartoon is a little advanced...

2008-03-31T07:43:00.000-07:00

I was bathing my kids last night and I realized I forgot to get my son's pajamas. So I stood at the bathroom door while watching the kids and I called out to my husband,

"HONEY, CAN YOU BRING ME SOME PAJAMAS?"

"OH, AND SOME SOCKS."

"AND AN UNDERSHIRT PLEASE?"

and my 2 1/2 year old daughter chimed in,

"AND SOME BOOBYTRAPS PLEASE."

Yup, that's my life round these parts.

Catch-Up

2008-03-23T15:54:00.000-07:00

We didn't die, we went to my Dad's house in the desert. It was cold, and fun and full of chocolate donoughts and hot cross buns from Grandma Sa-Sa's Bakery. Wood stoves and long johns at bedtime. We had snow and walks outside when we weren't freezing. It was fun, but exhausting.

Then we high-tailed it home for the Easter Egg hunt at church yesterday and Easter today. It was crazy but fun for my girl. I put the boy in my backpack and ran after our girl as she cleaned up in the 0-2 group for plastic candy-filled eggs.

The funniest thing that happened was when my girl looked through her Easter bucket this morning and looked at her Dad and said, "Daddy, I no like any of these things." Apparently the Easter Bunny needs some work round these parts...

Peas and My Babies

2008-03-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

My Little Man ate peas for the first time a night or two ago. Here's our favorite picture of that momentous occasion:

Also, my daughter loves to use the water dispenser on our fridge. Yesterday she found two of her babies and gave them some water to drink on the staircase. I wish I could have recorded all the dialogue she had going about those babies and their drinks. It was very sweet to see her nurturing side. Apparently her babies "need fresh water" to drink. I didn't tell her the fridge needs a new water filter.

Sunday Sunday

2008-03-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

We're back at Sunday again. No fevers, runny noses or stuffy sinuses. That's a relief here at our house I tell you. No more sick for us I declare!

So instead we sprayed RoundUp on all the lawns so we can re-do the yard both back and front. In about 3 days it will all look a lovely shade of yellow and the neighbors will know our intentions. We have committed ourselves to the process and we're shopping for a play structure. I saw one at Coscto and I'm smitten with it. We also saw another one in a Toys R Us catalogue that we really like. I am EXCITED about getting a play structure for my kiddos since we live too far to walk to the elementary school. We're not too far to the park, but it's over a long hill and my kids are too small to walk that far anyway. Plus, there are no sidewalks down that busy street for the last 2 blocks. So, I am not so hot on that. Anyway, I'd rather just take my kids outside to play were all we have to pack is some sunscreen. We decided to put in a drinking fountain too, so we don't have to trek in the house with dirty shoes for a drink of water. Is that ostentacious? I just thought we could put it on the same line as the faucet for a hose. It doens't take hardly any extra work, I don't think. It's just to make life easier.

And in the "It Follows Suit" category...my dad likes to tease me about my love of butter as a baby. Apparently I used to just eat butter for butter's sake and they would find my fingers in a stick of butter quite often. That made me laugh as yesterday I found this on the counter:

Brownie Making Time

2008-03-03T07:54:00.001-08:00

We're bouncing back very slowly around here. I got about 5 hours sleep last night due to a toddler who moved into a big girl bed and a teething 6 month old. We almost over all the sickness- just runny or stuffy noses remain. We're trying to get laundry done, bathrooms cleaned and we managed to get to the grocery store Saturday. So, that's all good.

We made some brownies the other day and I let my girl have the spoon. She really liked it.

Heard This Week at Our House

2008-02-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

Me: Let's pray now.
Her: Once upon a time there a beooooiful girl. She go down slide one time. The end.
Me: I am going to thank Jesus for your imagination.
***************
At dinner during discussion between husband and me about current television shows.
Her: No talking. I talk.
Me: Do you want to talk with us too?
Her: Yes.
Me: What is your favorite TV show?
Her: I watch Blues Clues and a movie, the end.
***************
While watching Sesame Street as I folded laundry.
Her: Mom, I eating.
Me: Oh, what are you eating?
Her: My snot.
Me: Oh, honey, don't eat that.
Her: Why?
Me: Umm, it's not made for eating.

Solace Girl Bible Verse

2008-02-26T10:59:00.000-08:00

So I don't forget again I'll post it here:

Proverbs 3:21-16
"... preserve sound judgment and discernment,
do not let them out of your sight;
they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.
Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble;
when you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
for the LORD will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being snared."

102.3 and Rising

2008-02-24T15:37:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, we finally have our turn at the severe illness taking it's toll on households everywhere. As a nation our stock in Tylenol is rising, our bank accounts are dwindling and we all looking sunk-eyed and listless at the grocery store. We see other moms and look at them in their last nights-post-toddler-throw-up sweatpants and husbands t-shirt and just nod as if to say, "We had our turn last week." What a week.

My 5 month old had a wicked high fever and a very runny nose to boot. We battled that and had a trip to the pediatrician. Then he had a 3 hour wailing session that took all of our strength and knowledge to battle. In the end I think it was the prayer that ended the suffering. Then there I was giving him a bath at 1:30 am...just to make sure his Tylenol took effect before we put him down to bed. He got up 3 more times after that I got 3 hours sleep total. Toddler girl woke up from her newly christened crib turned big girl bed to come downstairs and throw up. So off to the bath we went, 3 times total that day after each event. Fevers spiked, massive laundry was washed, mommy was almost depleted and finally it was the final hour to sleep. 5 month woke up a few times, and toddler came in my room at 6am sharp. She put her hand on me and asked for chicken nuggets and mayonnaise, and peanuts, and Cheerios. Can we detect the need for salt and electrolytes? More Gatorade and Pedia pops this morning. Son has heat rash, daughter is currently wrapped up on couch next to me watching Backyardigans.

That's our life. Thankfully I have a God who grants me sleep between the traumas and a mother in law who is a pediatric nurse. How much better does it get? Oh, yeah, my husband remembered the teething biscuits at the store...and they're organic. I so love that man.

Almost Umbelieveable

2008-02-20T15:46:00.000-08:00

So I took the kiddos to Target today to get my son some socks, to buy dish detergent and rice cereal and some batteries. I sat down in the cafe area of the store to let my 2 year old work on some popcorn as I nursed my little son. My sweet daughter was feeding me popcorn and I started to cough from the salt. A nice older woman came over and asked me if I wanted a cup of water. I said yes since I was stuck at the seat nursing and still coughing a little bit. She brought it over and then offered some to my daughter sitting next to me. My girl took two sips and the lady sat down to chat. She was dressed in a light pink Mary-Kay smock with black tights and shoes. She reminded me of the Clinque ladies at Meyer and Franks a few years ago. She told me she was a retired Mary Kay saleslady and then she told me all about a product I should use for my infant son. Mind you, the little guy is dressed in a light purple butterfly covered sleeper since we are out of clean clothes round these parts. Then she launched into a mile a minute diatribe about just about everything under the sun. We covered everything from dish soap to cat traps to window cleaner and two stories about assault and battery by some thug who worked security at a local grocery store. As we sat there her stories became more and more elaborate and I started to wonder if she was a consummate liar, or if she was actually just this way through and through. She seemed too fantastic, too dramatic and too "crazy Grandma"-ish to believe. I soon realized my toddler would launch a full out assault if I didn't get us shopped and out of Target soon. So I tried to take leave of her as carefully as possible. That's when the really good story came out that she was going to court for kidnapping of a cat and animal cruelty for trying to take an errant cat to the animal control center. So I sympathized with her as we've had our issues too. I put my girl in the basket of the cart and I stepped behind the cart to get my son in his car seat. That's when the Mary-Kay lady requested a hug from my daughter. I froze. I could not reach my girl from where I was and I couldn't let go of my son since he was not buckled in. Mary Kay lady had my girl in a hug in nanoseconds, and my girl obliged. But it raises the question: How do you handle things like that? Last week I started coaching my daughter on who she can kiss, and who she cannot. But I failed to make a statement about hugs. After thinking about it I realize I should have just said, "Oh, we don't hug people outside our family. Thank you for understanding."

What do you think?

1 Post, then I'll caulk the floor trim

2008-02-20T10:10:00.000-08:00

I have to say that my new craving in life is Mucho Gusto's fish tacos and a trip next door for Sees Candies. What a combo folks. I had both last night and it made all the crazy house-selling-almost car-buying melt away. I love milk chocolate Sees Candies. They are proof that God wants good things for us on earth.

Now I am going to get the caulk from the garage to caulk the floor trim where it meets the floor in an effort to keep out the ants this year.

Let's Sell Our House

2008-02-19T13:23:00.000-08:00

So last week we got a wild hair we decided we disliked our house enough to put it on the market. This was followed by a CRAZY week of trips to Home Depot and visits from realtors. We spent a lot of time cleaning, putting in new light fixtures and tearing up the broken pipes in the back yard. Then we took a hard look at the house we really wanted...and we realized that we would spend next to 50K in order to move to their house. Yeah, 50K. Insane. So, we ditched that idea. Then there was the call about the minivan.

We decided a while ago to get a newer car. We had a lead on two private sales from people we know who are reliable owners. We didn't anticipate the car coming up so soon for sale, so we headed over to pick it up and test drive it. It had headroom, legroom and tinted windows. Easy seats to manuever, lots of cargo room and the ability for one adult to ride in the back with the kids while the other adult drove. It was SO nice.

The flip side to all the nice-ness was that it gets only 16 miles to the gallon. So, to drive to my best friend's house would cost me $6 in at current gas prices. That doubles the cost of gas for our budget. Also, consumer reports rated this van at the lowest possible score for many areas and overall recommended that people AVOID the car. *Sigh* It's not the car for us.

We are emotionally exhausted, and we are still in the same small cars with loud crying children. My son cries so loud in the car that I open the windows to let some of the sound out while we drive. My daughter just clamps her hands over her ears and holds out for home. We need a bigger car, but not at all costs. We just need to hold on and live with the ones we have. They run, they have A/c and they are paid for. Not bad if you ask me. But then again, I am not in the car with the screaming banshee right now. If you ask me then, I might have a different answer.

I lost the Remote and Assorted Others in my Life

2008-02-11T20:55:00.000-08:00

I was so pathetic at the grocery store today that a kind gentleman in his 80's offered to bag my groceries and I let him. I left my house at 11:15am and we got home at 1:45 pm. We live about 2 miles from the grocery store. Isn't that a sorry state of affairs? We bought some chocolate soy milk and it tastes ok for soy milk. I have tried soymilk about 20 times and I cannot bring myself to like it. But the chocolate does help, so maybe I'll switch my girl over to this for her cocoa fixes twice a week. Who knows, maybe we will go granola and live on a farm and raise raspberries and chickens and be pretty and literate in esoteric Russian fiction. Sigh. Or maybe I'll just get through today.

We also made a decision about a newer car. We've been waffling for a while on that one and we decided to just go for it, and if the offer falls through, then we'll adjust and make a new plan.

I lost the remote today. I seriously lost it in under 5 minutes. I was on the phone, I turned on Seasame Street for the toddler and I talked for a few minutes and by the end of the call it was gone. Husband and I turned the bedroom upside-down looking for it. I finally spied it while I was in the shower part of our bathroom. The one plus to the lack of door on the bathroom.

Well, my little teething patience-tryer is awake again and I am armed with Tylenol, a bottle of formula and some Irish Cream to take the edge off. Me, that is.

Braided Hair and Bicycles

2008-02-09T19:07:00.000-08:00

Today my girl had two firsts: braided hair and a bicycle ride in the driveway. I got a little misty-eyed as I braided her sweet curly hair so it would stay out of her eyes while wearing her helmet. She was ready to go and her Daddy took her outside to take a ride. It was so sweet! She is now more a Preschooler then a baby. Sigh. It's too fast.

You know your Dh works for a Credit Union When:

2008-02-08T08:05:00.001-08:00

He is taking the family to see this group: The Money Mammals

I love my man.

Back to Normal

2008-02-04T08:22:00.000-08:00

What a week. We had 6 inches of snow and for a town that never sees snow that means that everything shuts down for a few days. Then it snowed again, and was too cold to go outside even. I have a rule to not let the kiddos outside to play or for a walk when the temp gets below 40. My little guy is just too small for that kind of cold, with the wind chill. So we went to the Mall and we walked around the upper level in the stroller so the kids don't have to look at the window displays of s*ft p*rn. And they wonder why that end of the mall is always deserted...hrmm.

A really fun thing happened though. I think I made a new friend. I was at the Mall with the kids and we stopped to play with the little car displays. You know the kind that you put 50 cents in and it makes noises for the kids to ride. There was another little girl my daughter's age and her mom and I started talking. It was like everything she said was exactly the way I thought about things. She made me laugh really hard. I loved talking to her and at the end I wanted to tell her how much I liked talking to her. I didn't know how to express that without risking it coming off like a come on. Which is really sad that I can't just express those thoughts without fear of "making a move" on her. So, I told her I liked talking with her and that I hoped to see her at the mall again. She reciprocated and said I should come to her town to do some kid friendly things. That opened the door for me to ask for her number to set up a play-date and voila! I have a new friend! That, and my daughter has a playmate her own age. I left the Mall very happy to find a new friend, and happy I managed to do so without any social hiccups. Which sounds weird, but lately it's like I cannot seem to locate my social appropriate skills when with other women. I get so excited to see them and talk I turn into a monologue-driven comedy sketch. I hate when I do that. Those old habits are so hard to break!

So, that's our news. What's yours?

A Snowy Sunday

2008-01-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

In our neck of the woods we don't see snow very often. we live in a sort of Banana-belt area of our state where the temperatures are more moderate, save the summers that are hotter then most. So we don't see snow often here. Today we left church at 11:30am and we went for a drive to look at new housing developments. By the time we got home and made lunch for the kiddos it started snowing. It's now 3:07pm and there is a heavy snowfall and 3 inches on the ground. So crazy. Yet it is beautiful and serene. Snow makes everything seem new and pure. I love it.

We had a few nice days last week and we went outside to play. I got some good pictures of my girl, my favorite is posted to the right.

Once again we are entertaining the idea of moving to a new house. Same town, same area, but perhaps into the new development where the old golf course was. My spouse is an all-or-nothing kind of guy, so when we talk about it he makes huge lists of all the necessary things we must do in order to move. The lists are so long and exhaustive that I immediately find myself just shrugging the whole idea off since it already seems impossible. I simply cannot do all that work by myself since he works so much. Like how am I going to paint the house with a 2 year old and a 5 month old running around? Even if we did move out for a short while to paint and spruce up the house, um, who is going to watch the kids for THAT MANY HOURS? It makes me laugh right now, realizing what a joke moving would be. So, I guess we're just where we started, in our 1970's house-minty fresh colored and leaking heat from the old metal windows. We'll replace the rest of the windows within a few years, but we need a new(er) car first and we'd like to do the backyard too.

So, I"ll just be content (since it seems to be a discipline) and watch the snow as I stay warm bed as I type. Hope you have a warm Sunday!

Friday Photo

2008-01-25T19:10:00.001-08:00

Excersise and Slipping

2008-01-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

I've started exercising about 5 days a week. I've been on this new plan for about 6 weeks and it is starting to pay off, one being that my church slacks are very loose. The other benefit is that I feel stronger, more physically able then I have for a good few years. Those benefits paid off today as I went to church.

I had a rushed morning since I overslept by about an hour. I packed up like a tornado, and I made coffee to go. I took my 4 month old son with me to church early, so my husband only had to feed and dress one for church. Plus I still had to nurse my little guy so it made sense to take him with me as I set up as the sound tech and did mic checks before the service. I grabbed my new baby-carrying framed backpack as well as my purse, big diaper bag, new down coat and my son and headed to church. It was only about 8:20am so the parking lot in front of the church only had 1 other car in it. I parked close and felt a twinge of guilt for parking close, though I am an able bodied person. Late for my sound checks, but able bodied nonetheless.

I carried my son in his carseat in my left hand and I slung the backpack over my right shoulder, my purse, and large diaper bag over my right shoulder as well. I took my coffee in my right hand and I headed for the door of the church. As I stepped on to the sidewalk from the parking lot it happened. I slipped on the thick ice.

It would have been comical had it not been so painful and shocking. One second I am upright headed for the door and the next second I am flat on my back with my coffee upright in my right hand. I actually slipped so fast that I landed flat on my back..like a move from a cartoon. I look to my left and see every mother's fear, her child suspended upside down in his carseat on the ice. The handle of the carseat was what kept the seat from landing him flat on his face, it broke the fall and his little head hung down. My heart stopped. I called his name and he moved. I set my coffee down and rolled to my left to pull his seat to rights. He started crying hard. I looked around, there was no one in sight. I tried to get up, and I couldn't. It was so icy I couldn't get a foot hold, and I kept slipping. I thought of my father in law in his office inside the church and I wondered if I could call him on his cell phone for help. I wanted to get my son inside ASAP so my mother in law could look him over to see if he was OK. She is a nurse in the NICU unit and I was worried my son had whiplash from flipping upside down. I couldn't wait for a call, so I took off my shoes and used the slight grip from my pantyhose to give me a chance to stand up on the groomed cement. I got us inside and as I got into the sanctuary a I sent my other sound tech up to the choir loft to get my mother in law. By the time she got to the sound booth my son had calmed down and I started to bawl. I was stammering from the fear my son was hurt and crying from the pain I was feeling all over my body. She checked him over and he was fine. I was soaked through in my pants where I landed and sat on the melting ice and relieved that he was OK. It was then I realized that I landed slightly on my left side on my back and the backpack and diaper bag broke my fall and kept me from cracking my head on the sidewalk.

Which brings me to another point: I love the men in our church. They are cowboys of sorts, men from another era who go to war without request, who open doors and take care of the ladies. Since I slipped on the icy sidewalk, about 4 men went looking for the sidewalk de-icer and went to task to ensure no one else was injured right there. 3 of them remarked about how thick the ice was and later another church member told me he slipped at the same spot a few minutes after I did, though he didn't fall. I was later told that my fall very well cold have saved a few broken hips, since our church has so many elderly members who park in the front of the church and walk down that sidewalk. Our regular custodian who checks the sidewalks on Sundays is out of town, which was why I was going early in the first place: to take his sound tech shift for the first service.

So I am thankful my son was in his carseat, buckled in safely and I am glad I have been exercising and I was able to get back up quickly. I am also glad I've lost so much weight and my slacks are so loose, I didn't split my pants up the back as a result. Because who needs insult added to injury?

I'm OK all in all but I can feel the pain in my left elbow and I know my back will feel this tomorrow.

* Update as of 8:14pm...I am already feeling the pain...tomorrow will be lots of Blues Clues on TV and Aleve for the elbow, the neck, the lower back and the left side of my sit-down.

Lexicon Update

2008-01-17T19:30:00.000-08:00

This is the latest list from my girl at 2 years, 2 months:
Marketers: Commercials
Shocklat: Chocolate
Mandrieen Orngeens: Mandarin oranges
Grapa Grabba: Grandpa, Grandma
Unkul Wobby: Uncle Robby
Backaweens: Backyardigans
Lika meeks, gollar dreens, peeky teens, beggietales:
Lima beans, collard greens, peachy keen, Veggie Tales

While in the car today with the sun in her eyes:
Her: "Mom, turn it off please."
Me: "Turn it off? Turn what off?"
Her: Turn the sun off Mom."
Me:"I would if I could sugar."

Cold and Fever

2008-01-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

Sickness has enshrouded our house this past week. My girl caught something wonderful and it's been a hard week of little sleep and a lot of medicine. Not even the ibuprofen could take away the pain of her sore throat and coughing made it unbearable. Thankfully it looks like our son dodged the bullet and we adults are just dealing with runny noses.

We are tired. Very tired. Thankfully my son slept most of the night last night and I got about 6.5 continuous hours of sleep. So that feels good. But we're all going a little stir crazy from being home for so many days in a row. We seriously need to get out of the house to do something new today. I was thinking about driving over to see my mom's grave sight and then visit the local park to let my girl play. At least we won't give what we have to anyone else and we get a chance to breathe some fresh air.

My New Years resolutions started at Thanksgiving..and I am still with it. Did you make any resolutions and how are they going?

Firsts in December

2008-01-04T09:47:00.001-08:00

Here is a collection of some very touching events in the life of our family. My favorites are the spaghetti, the "Girl Nest", and the funniest one where she is eating a hotdog and falls asleep while it's still in her mouth. I can't believe my husband got a photo of that one. There are a few photos of my little guy too...he's growing so fast!

Universal Healthcare

2007-12-30T15:03:00.000-08:00

I am watching "Sicko" by Michael Moore. When this first came out I refused to watch it. Somehow I thought it was trendy and just about profit, and I believed the Fox News hype about how it was a pack of lies. Not that I watch Fox News, I just remember it was all over the news sites for a while.

My previous beliefs about health care was that those who pay for it should get it (outside of the young and the very old and/or other handicapped persons). I clearly remember patchouli smelling, tattered clothed twenty-somethings coming up to me at the Saturday Market asking me to sign a petition for universal health care. I used to get really mad about that. These people really didn't seem to be working to me. They seemed to be smoking pot and sitting around the Saturday market asking me to support their life of leisure. I'd think, "Get a job, pay taxes and work for a change. Pay for your own way instead of asking me to do it for you." I'm doing that, and you should be too.

Now I think I have changed camps. I realized that if anyone in our family got cancer and needed treatment like chemo or radiation...we would lose everything to pay for it.

We have full insurance. We are all healthy. We pay taxes and we eat our vegetables.

It would only take one event to lose it all: Our house, our cars, our savings, our retirement. All gone to pay for health care that we previously thought was covered by our insurance.

Our health care insurance is just below our house payment. We figured out last night that if took the money we pain in insurance and saved it...we could pay for the birth of our son in about a year. We could pay for for everything we needed in cash. Save the catastrophic needs, we'd be fine.

Catastrophic is not what it used to be. There is an insurance employee (former) who goes on camera and talks about how he used to go through patients files to find any possible reason to deny them payment for services, or to find a reason to deny them coverage at all. His job is to keep from paying for medical bills at any cost. Why? Health insurance companies are FOR PROFIT. They are not for our benefit. They are for the benefit of their shareholders and their employees.

So frankly I have no faith that if I did develop cancer, my health insurance company would not pay for my bills, nor for my treatment. This is where universal health care comes in. Health care should be for all people. Now this is usually where I would previously get all, "But that's paramount to socialism!". Not anymore. Michael Moore made the point that we already have socialized services: Fire services, police services, military medical services. If anyone alive has the fundamental right to call the fire department and be saved from a burning building, or their home protected from a fire...why is that same person not worthy of medical care if they are sick? It's non sequitir logic. Either people are worthy of all humanitarian services or they aren't. Health care seems to be the most personal human need of all, outside of salvation. Why am I willing to share the hope of salvation in Jesus Christ but not the medicine to save alleviate their illness, or their pain? I am ashamed I thought that way.

My previous fears of universal health care stemmed from my dislike of paying for other people's needs they should pay for themselves. I think I've spent enough time within the realm of public education to have seen the folks who are living off the government, with no desire to work or contribute to society in any meaningful way. Those I saw were mean, selfish and immature, usually. So the prospect of funding their lifestyles is repugnant. Yet when I think of it, I am already paying for their lifestyle. I pay for their welfare, their trips to the ER through my medical payments. It's just a reality. I cannot imagine that my 52 hour stay in the hospital birthing my child actually cost $12,000.

Did you know that in other countries the government puts a cap on the profits of drug companies? Did you know that your tax dollars that go through the National Institute of Health provide discoveries that are then patented by the researchers for their own profit. Uh, yeah, we paid for the discovery and then we pay again forever for the actual drug. An individual researcher makes money off of all of us, when we paid them to find the discovery in the first place. It's the law folks. Seriously.

I think I am for Universal Health care.

Near the End

2007-12-29T17:15:00.000-08:00

As we end the year my mind hearkens back to the beginning of 2007 and all the memories between. It's been a year, just like yours I imagine. We went through a lot this year with a hard pregnancy (at least the first 3rd was hard) and a toddler. We turned our lives upsidedown over Labor Day as I bore our son into our family. We are sleep deprived but still making it to all our commitments like work and church. We now have a happy 4 month old little guy who is teething and a sweet and precocious 2 year old girl who is a joy and a source of laughter everyday. We have a house of our own, my husband has a good job, cars that are paid for, food for our table, clothes for our bodies and medical care for our illnesses. We are in a good way.

There are many I know who are in dire straights, or are mourning at this moment. I know others who face the uncertainty of cancer, some are recovering from surgery, some who face the daily "newness" of a spouse whose health has changed their future entirely. All of those women face their situations with strength from God, and with a faith that has been excercised in the everyday of their lives. I am so thankful for those women in my life and I wish I could change their pain into joy, and ashes to beauty.

I went on a trip recently and I realized I have looked back for too long. My little family needs my focus on the present and I need to make our life better here. "You can't go home" said my friend, and she was right. I am home and it's time for me to pursue our life here to the fullest in our little town, releasing those behind me who perhaps let go of me long ago. I was very sad for a few days about all this, but now I see it as a necessity. It's time, and that's alright. God always gives me a new song to sing in my heart for my future.

I hope your New Year is wonderful, full of growth, joy and a sincere faith in God.

Yesterday seems so far away

2007-12-21T15:32:00.000-08:00

It really does. Yesterday was a bear, punctuated by some really great moments. I had a good walk in the morning with my kiddos. Then my favorite babysitter came over and I got a shower without any kiddos in their with me (remember those days of the bouncy seat outside just a foot away from you, singing songs for your baby while shampooing?). Then I had lunch with my 2nd best friend and it was GOOD. Then we went to a pedicure/manicure place and I had my nails done and got about 1/3 of the way through my feet when I got the call.

The. dreaded. call.

Baby is crying. H.A.R.D. Throwing up from crying so hard. Cannot be consoled. Will not eat.

Sigh. So the socks go back on and the pedicure is over. But I had to come home for my little guy. He's no worse for the wear today, but last night I was a weepy mess at my nephew's birthday party. Thank goodness for sisters in law who can see it, take your baby, watch your toddler and hand you an open apple cider without a word. I have good family folks.

Who Knew?

2007-12-17T08:07:00.000-08:00

That a silly post about Mac and cheese would get some comments? He he he he. Funny. I went and bought some Annie's -just for you Amy K. I still don't like it very much, I add real cheese at the end so it has a semblance of nutrition for my girl. I'll try the Safeway brand too Jodi, when I go there next. I rarely go to Safeway because it's the longest checkout in the history of grocery stores and the prices are far too high( at least down here).

What else is new? Well, we're just ambling towards Christmas Day around here. Our kids are fine all in all and one of them is asking to hold my camera at the moment and the other one is fussing in the living room for lack of entertainment. So, everybody is fine I suppose! We've had our turns of hard days but we're making a comeback I think. I think my Dad is coming tomorrow so I hope to see him. Plus I have a pedicue appontment on Thursday with my 2nd best friend. It's going to be so fun, I love this woman and we always have a lot of laughing together.

How is your week shaping up?

Oh How The Mighty Have Fallen

2007-12-07T20:33:00.002-08:00

What I should have noted is that I was the Mom who was NEVER going to give her kids Kraft Mac and cheese. The title refers to my former lofty ideals.

Bannanas

2007-12-07T20:33:00.001-08:00

Heard last night while reading a book with pictures to name out loud:
Daddy: What is this?
Her: Apple
Daddy: What is this?
Her: Broklee (broccoli)
Daddy: What is this?
Her: Banana. Sarah bite; no like it.

Later in the book Daddy was pointing to pictures of animals:
Daddy pointing to a dog.
Her: Puppy
Daddy points to fish.
Her: Fishy
Daddy points to a cat.
Her: Kitty
Daddy points to a Guinea Pig.
Her: (Pausing) Meat.

Us: Laughing until we cried.

Funny Girl

2007-12-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

From last night:
Me: Babe, where are your boots?
Her: Ustairs.
Me: Run go get them and bring them down so we can go to Grandma's house.
Her: No Mommy.
Me: No Mommy?
Her: No Mommy....
Father: No Mommy what?
Her: No Mommy turn boots.
Me: It's my turn to go upstairs and get your boots?
Her: Yes.

Obnoxious

2007-12-02T13:08:00.000-08:00

I'm not getting a lot of sleep these days. I have two small kids and they require a lot from me. I've practically given up a nap because I can't keep the house running otherwise. I can barely keep kids in clean clothes, fed and teeth brushed lately, much less myself. Last night got up 8 times between 11pm and 7 am. Seriously. So I think my hormones are all discombobbled and some things seem much more annoying than usual.

Take last Wednesday for instance. Someone called me and the conversation went like this:
Them: "Hi, you don't know *********(Christmas song) do you?"
Me: "Yeah I do. It's my favorite Christm-"
Them: "But you don't know the alto part I bet."
Me: "Yes, I do know it, I sang it in high school."
Them: "Well, can you sing with us on Sunday for the concert? We need an alto and a tenor (asking for my spouse to sing).
Me: "Actually I am doing (tech work) so I can't."
Them: "You can't just set the lights and walk down and sing and then go right back afterward?
Me: "With husband watching the kids it just doesn't work for us this year. It just isn't our season for it."
Them: "Oh, well, I don't need a second person, I am strong enough on my own. My husband doesn't either, but the song sounds better with more people."

Ok, the one thing that really gets me is how each sentence starts out as a challenge, an assumption that I can't do whatever is asked of me. Seriously, that puts the other person on the defensive right off the bat. The other part that gets to me is the ," You can't just..." part. I think this is best described as "MEIMVTY" disease. That is: My experience is more valid than yours. Which this person actually thinks all the time in this vein.

I am so tired and my son is crying again. I can't even explain how annoying that is, the whole, I know how to operate you life better then you do.

It makes me think this person thinks I am stupid.

Goodness I need a nap and a month away from said person.

Say It Nicely

2007-11-26T08:06:00.000-08:00

The other day my daughter was petitioning my husband for something in a whiny tone of voice. I chided her and went into a paragraph about her whiny voice. I ended the whole thing with the admonishment. "You have to say it nicely to Daddy".

She sighed and tilted her head and said in the sweetest possible voice, "It nicely, Daddy".

We laughed and gave her what she was asking for anyway.

36 For Dinner

2007-11-23T08:27:00.000-08:00

Just not at my house thankfully. My sister in law hosts a huge thanksgiving dinner for all the family plus a few friends at her house in town. My husband's whole family comes down from Washington and everyone is here for a few days. So we have family fun time for about 4 days straight. It's fun, but with my little ones it takes a big toll on them. So yesterday we stayed home until the last minute because we wanted to stay later. I think I came across as an ogre because I refused to let my daughter go outside and play on the play structure before dinner. All the other kids got to go out, but I knew if I let her go she would be covered in mud. So I said no, that her family had to see her in her clean dress before she went outside. They showed up and saw her and then we had dinner.
This year we brought sweet potato pie, a cheddar-jalapeno bread pudding and some sweet potatoes with a struesel topping. That's a lot of cooking with little kids. My husband pointed out that we should no longer make special dishes for Thanksgiving outside of the normal menu. I think his payoff to work ratio in that event doesn't work out for him. Sad, but I see his point.
At any rate we had a very good time and has some amazing gravy. I have to say I watched a Paula Deen recipe for cranberry the other day and I thought it looked gross. Someone made it and it was really good. So, shows how much I know! Today we are all going to the movies and a dinner sans kiddos, but I think I have to skip the movie and just go to dinner. My little guy still doesn't take a pacifier and he's miserable without his mommy and her...um...equiptment (if you will).

And how was your Turkey Day?

Do You Have A Signature Dish?

2007-11-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

For the past 2 years I've been on a cake making odessy. I make birthday cakes for family members and I go all out with the decorations. I am not so good at it yet, but I have a few things figured out. The cakes might not look like Martha Stewart, but they always taste really good.

This year we are responsible for sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving. I think we will bring two dishes, one sweet potato pie, and another one, a stuffed sweet potato. My sister in law has a head count of 34 people for dinner tomorrow, so I think both dishes will be used. This brings me to my question: What is your signature Thanksgiving dish and where did you learn it?

Fall Pictures

2007-11-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

These were taken by my brother in law the other day. We did them for my husband so he could have some to choose from for his office frames. Isn't my brother in law an amazing photographer? He calls the first photo of my girl the "Land's End" photo. I agree!

Rough Waters

2007-11-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a hard week or sorts. I don't know why. Perhaps it's just hard to readjust to our regular schedule at home. I don't know really. Everyone is emotional and we're all need a little more sleep. We did have one big moment when my girl went you-know-what on the p*tty. That was huge, and I think we're on our last box of regular diapers...on to pull ups-right? AK will have to tell me because I've never done this before. I haven't even read a book about it either.

In the light of Christmas coming our family has come up with a new plan: No more adult gifts! Hooray! We decided to keep gifts for kids, and our adult stockings at mom and dad's house. The major buying for all the adults is outtahere! Whew, it costs a lot of money to buy all the gifts for all the grown ups. Besides, I'd rather just get one big gift from my husband at Christmas and forego all the small ones. So I can see that many hours of shopping for Christmas just freed up this year. So instead I think we are going to pay more attention to needs around the world as opposed to ourselves. Anyone hear of Plumpynut recently? If you haven't...check the link and get your tissues ready. It's an amazing creation.

Punishment and Sorrow

2007-11-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

My dear sweet angelic daughter was disobedient last night. I finally had to administer some strong discipline to help her remember that I am the Mommy, and what I say is the law 'round these parts. So she went running to Daddy and she refused to kiss me goodnight. I did make her kiss her brother, for he did nothing wrong- he was simply in my arms when the whole incident went down. A few minutes later I went into her room while her Daddy was reading her a story. I went in to tell her goodnight and make amends. She took one look at me and said,"No Mommy. Downstairs."
I said, "You want to go downstairs?"
She stated again,"No Mommy. Downstairs."
I said, "You want me to go downstairs?"
She replied, "Yes."
I asked, "Are you still mad at me for your discipline?"
She didn't reply.

I almost cried. She was telling me to leave her room because she was mad at me for her earlier consequences. I am sure it won't be the last time she uses those sentiments after I tow the line.

Parenting hurts your heart sometimes.

Uhh, The House in on Fire

2007-11-09T07:37:00.000-08:00

I'll explain: We went to see my dad for a few days and as we headed out of town we stopped to see him one last time. As I arrived I found the volunteer fire crew at my Dad's girlfriend's house as the roof was on fire. Apparently a spark from the chimmney caught some pine needles on fire on the shake roof. It was contained between the shakes and the ceiling, and it didn't spread to the rest of the house. Thankfully! But I have to saw that I when I saw the smoke and the fireman (he was by himself mind you) I was a bit pannicky about getting my Dad and Melissa out of the house. Thankfully they were already out of the house and on a ladder fighting the flames with a garden hose when I found them at the back of the house. We were flummoxed at the lone firefighter who had a hose out but did not turn it on. I was about to offer to hold it so he could turn it on. I figure I could just sit on it to hold the pressure as he went from the truck to the end of the hose but apparently the hose had frozen water in it and was kinked. No water could come out. So they had to wait for the rest of the fire crew to arrive to start the water. It was almost like the keystone cops for a while. The first fireman had a clipboard with him the whole time and I kept thinking, "Who needs a clipboard to put a fire out? GET THE HOSE ON AND PUT OUT THE ROOF FIRE DING-DONG!" Well, the fire chief told us that just shooting the fire with a hose like that can push the fire other places and make it much worse. So the fire crews climbed up the roof and pulled off the shake shingles to put out the fire. The inside of the house got a little wet, but nothing too bad. Melissa and my dad stayed very calm the whole time seeing as how the house was on fire.

So the moral of the story is to drain your hoses and clean the pine needles off your roof every month before the snow hits. Oh, and get a metal roof. Thankfully I think all three things will happen from now on. Maybe we will get my Dad a leaf blower to get the needles off the roof from now on. Or maybe their new metal roof won't have rain gutters. It was pretty exciting all in all, and their insurance is doing right by them at last I heard.

Still Here

2007-11-02T08:12:00.001-07:00

We're still here folks. We've just been in survival mode for a while. We had birthdays, Halloween, vaccinations, meetings and of course, our dishwasher was still broken. Yesterday we got it installed and I ran the first load. I was amazed at how fast I could empty the sink into the dishwasher. It was amazing! Although, I am the girl who is still amazed that a car runs on gasoline explosions. So, maybe I am just looking to be impressed.
My daughter turned 2! And with a vengeance I might add. We had our check ups-with our Dr. and he told me a few things she might start doing. I didn't pay much mind to it as she has never done those things before...she is very compliant. But when we got home from his office it was like she turned into another person...a toddler. It was crazy to see her do every single thing he mentioned in just a few hours. A few days later we had a birthday party for her with chocolate cupcakes and she liked them a lot. We got her a tricycle with a helmet for her birthday and she is besides herself about it. Score one for mommy.

We also went trick or treating on Halloween. Our family went as dogs but I didn't get a picture of all of us together. Oh well, next year. After my girl got the hang of the trick or treating she resorted to running up to the door with her cousins and yelling, "TRICKRTREE...CANNY? SAYSOUS!"(trick or treat...candy? Thank you!). She got SO much candy and when I put her in the car it smelled like a Jolly Rancher factory. She had a really good time, but I made sure to explain you can only go to some one's house and ask for candy in a costume at Halloween.

How are all of you?

I Can't Type with One Hand

2007-10-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

So, that's why I haven't posted lately. Sorry for that (all 3 of you who read this blog each week).

Anyway, since our dishwasher has been out I've had to spend all my free handed time doing dishes. They can get out of hand very quickly. So, I can only get online for a few precious minutes a day, always with a kid in my lap.

We went to the pumpkin patch last weekend. They had ponies! Big plus for my daughter who loves to ride ponies. She also liked playing with the other girls we went with...they all baked a cake in the straw play area. It was pretty cute.

We skipped church in favor of family time. My husband was seriously sick on Saturday, so we thought it best to stay home to keep from giving it to anyone else at church. By 3:30pm yesterday I was ready to go berserk, so my husband sent me away by myself for a few hours. It did a lot of good, since I bought Lidia Bastrianich's Family Table cookbook. I can't wait to cook out of it! I so love her style, and I'm sad we can't see her cooking show since we got dish network. But we did get Alton Brown, so maybe that's a fair trade.

Here are some recent photos:

My big achievement for the day was getting the bark spread around the back door deck. Anytime we go outside we get mud on our shoes, so I hope the bark minimizes that problem. I also am down to 1 sinkfull of dishes (started out at 4) and I just made the hamburger patties for dinner. So, we're looking good for dinner. Ok, little man just squawked so he must be ready to get up. Make a comment so I know someone still checks up on me! Oh, Linda I already know you read this :).

Learning to Count

2007-10-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

After dinner is bath time around these parts. My girl was covered in refried beans and cookie crumbs last night and so I warned her of her impending bath:

Me: Do you know what it's time for?

Her: Five.

About 50 Times

2007-10-09T15:04:00.000-07:00

I have TRIED to blog lately, I really tried. Somehow I was always thwarted by someone's spit up, someone's need for a diaper change, a trip to the store for milk, or any other host of reasons. I seriously tried to blog.

We've had quite the week over here. Last week was the kind of week where you give your kid Doritos AND candy in the same meal, you get a shower every other day and you cannot stop thinking about the Blue's Clue's songs perpetually playing on the DVR for your almost 2 year old. It was hard to get through, but we did. I have photos of some really funny moments and when I get a hand free I will download them for you.

Today my contractor pulled out our dishwasher and found it leaked all over our less then 3 year yr old floor. Nice. So out it goes and in with the new...once we replace the floor again and we can put in a new dishwasher. I want one that has that cool feature with a garbage disposal in the machine so I don't have to pre-wash all my dishes. Goodness, I already have enough to do around here.

I am moving my little son into his crib tonight in his own room. That child makes more noise then a garbage truck when he sleeps in his bassinet. Between the snorts, the little cries and the grunts I cannot sleep. I am sandwiched between the two noisy men in the house, since my son's bassinet in on my side of the bed. So out he goes and I'll keep the monitor cranked up so I can hear him stir at 3:30 am for his feeding.

I just saw a Banoffeee recipe on Paula's Home Cooking. It's a banana/toffee pudding and I just realized I have ALL THE INGREDIENTS to make it right now. It's basically a graham cracker crust, a layer of cooked sweetened condensed milk and bananas (layer 2x) and then topped with whipped cream. I mean, how good does that sound? Seriously? I am so going to make that. Ok, maybe not today since I have a sink full of dishes and no dishwasher.

And how are all of you?

More than Words

2007-09-30T16:17:00.001-07:00

Phrases You Never Want to Hear...

2007-09-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

1. "Mommy, Rossy (1 month old) is on the phone."

2. "I could have told you that."

3. "It's on backorder."

4. "You'll have to call another number. I can't transfer you."

5. Oops, I thought you wanted decaf."

By a Thread

2007-09-25T12:40:00.000-07:00

My husband is out of town and with a newborn and a not-quite-yet-two year old we're just hanging on here. A few years ago my friend's husband travelled out of town a LOT and I remember her dealing with her husband's absence on a nearly weekly basis. When his job started he didn't travel as much and as time grew the travel got to be frequent. That's hard on a family with a Daddy who is a big part of daily life. I remember that his boss wasn't quite as pugged into the day to day activities of his own kids, and I don't think he understood what he was asking of his employees and their families. Travel is very hard on families.

So, all that to say, we're just keeping it together here at the ranch as we wait for Daddy to come home. I thought he was coming home tonight, but I guess that's not the case and he will be back tomorrow. I know he has to be gone and this is an important trip for his job. Yet, it's hard with two kiddos with colds and I had to get up multiple times with my newborn son to suction his nose out so he could breathe. That is so fun I tell you. Super fun. Earlier in the evening my daughter tripped and fell and cut her face open with her tooth. So that was a 2 hour trip to the pediatrician's office for a looksee about stitches. No stiches and she is fine. It will just make a small scar.

Which brings me to a gripe: I hate the fact I just realized the thing that annoys the daylights out of me is the very same thing I do myself.

How obnoxious that I am so obnoxious. I am so glad I have God who can change me from the inside out. I seriously need it.

What Can't You Run a Household Without?

2007-09-17T15:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is my attempt at a blog trend! List 3 things (or just the pictures) you simply cannot run your household without. We will leave the Bible off the list, since that counts as the unnamed first for survival. Everything else is up for consideration (but nothing naughty, folks). Put your three on your blog and why, and let's see what we need to survive!

1.
Coffee Toddy with Starbucks Coffee every morning.

2. NPR in the morning and the evening as I make dinner. Keeps me sane and in touch with the world.

3. The Shark hand vac is a staple for me. I use it about 4 times a day...obviously I have a toddler.

Amy Wilhoite Died

2007-09-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

I saw the post a few minutes ago and I just stopped crying. It's been a long time since I prayed so earnestly for someone to live, and they still died far too soon in my opinion. I didn't know Amy Wilhoite, I only stumbled on her blog a year ago as she detailed her expereince with cancer. She has a son who is almost the same age as my girl, and my heart broke for her when I thought about what her son and husband would go through without her. It's hard to lose a mother, no matter what the age. So, it is with a very heavy heart that I think about her passing into heaven. I don't grieve for Amy anymore, for her fears for her family living without her are absolved. She is in heaven and she has nothing but joy and completeness with Christ.

I know that if I died, my husband would be able to find another wife and mother for my children. He is a very good man and there are scores of wonderful women in the world who would be delighted to marry him and adopt my children as their own. So, I don't have that worry. What I worry about is entirely selfish. I worry about my own pain as I contemplate what my family would go through if I died. It must be so hard to think about that aspect- that my death would bring such loss, pain, tears and an empty place in my children's hearts. There are so many things I would never get to tell them. That is so hard to think about.

On another note...possibly in the same key: Baby Nathan is struggling at the hospital. He is really struggling to breathe, and he is touch and go. His dad got to hold him recently, and it was very hard for him since his son is so fragile. Please pray for this little family as they go through this trial by fire...and pain. Please, please pray.

A Most Excellent Thought

2007-09-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

From Touchstone Magazine September 2007- by David Mills

"Why, a reader wrote me, do people produce movies like one (whose title I won't mention) about men who are sexually intimate with horses, which was to debut at a prestigious film festival? To get the attention, plus praise, plus money, of people already bored and jaded by less outrageous perversions, is the answer that came to mind.

This profitable appeal to the prurience rests on the belief that knowledge is always good and cannot hurt us, with the small and increasingly meaningless qualification "if it is age appropriate" adulthood (now defined by the movie industry as beginning at 17) being thought the age which everything is appropriate. People believe this, I think, because they have never asked the basic question of what knowledge is for. They have no reason to know anything-and therefore no reason not to know everything."

Running hot and cold

2007-09-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

Life here is going back to a new normal. We eat, sleep and breathe baby. Our girl is doing a great job at adjusting, although her rival sleeps all the time so she's not challenged much. My post pregnancy hormones have kicked in and so I run hot and cold all the time. Even though I am sleeping a lot (compared to my first newborn) I still have wild swings in feelings. So, I take each hour as it's own and I try to get to the next one as I trust my feelings will change by the next hour. Thankfully, that has held to be true. Wisdom has it's advantages.

Our new little guy is very sweet. He has an even temperment and he just seems content all the time. I know that can change, but it's a blessing to us right now. So, he fits right in with us. Now we have two of each type, and we're a balanced family. I am thankful it's the first day of school even though I am not in it, nor are my kids. It's just the start of something new that I like about it all. The new beginnings as the weather changes. It rained here today and it is so nice to have the weather cool off for a fresh move into fall. We didn't have a very hot summer and my tomatoes are showing more green than red. So, maybe next year I'll get a good crop to can.

Well, it's time to feed one and wait for the other to wake from a nap. We're going outside for a while after nap time to enjoy the cool air and some wiggle room. I am very glad for our sizable back yard for running around. It's good for all of us.

I hope the first day of school was good or you too!

He is here!

2007-08-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

Our son is finally here! After a long wait, a very short labor and a lot of relief!

8 lbs 2oz
19 inches

4:17 AM

2007-08-24T04:17:00.000-07:00

I'm up. I bet Amy K is too back in the Midwest. Well, maybe in another hour. Anway, I am sitting here at my computer because I can't sleep. I've been up for over an hour tossing in bed, thinking weird thoughts. At least I know they are weird. It is the hormones from the baby. So I can at least identify them and move on to other thoughts.

I decided to get up and type out some notes about my girl. That way if she is watched here at the house, or at a family member's house it's all in print in case it's needed. My sisters in law are awesome with my girl and they just do things naturally. But when other adults are around, they need some direction about the location of diapers, outdoor shoes, and when my girl eats. So, I am up to get these thoughts on paper and then print them up later this morning.

Still no closer to giving birth (as I see it). No contractions to speak of, no pain or difficulty walking more than usual. My babies want to stay in I guess. My girl was that way too.

So what's up with all of you?

Still Nothing New to Report

2007-08-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Still not in labor. Still working on my To-Do List. I was up for a while last night and I got some more laundy done. I also crossed off two more items that are hard to do with my girl in tow. But it's weird to be up and cleaning and sorting in the middle of the night. It's like a clandestine assignment...I try valiantly to keep everyone else asleep while I move things around and clean up. I am so thankful for all the sorting and purging we've done the last three years. It makes cleaning and preparing for a new baby so much easier.

Baby Nathan is doing as well as could be expected at this point. He's very small, and has a long way to go. Yet he did not have to go to a Portland hospital, he gets to stay in town with his parents. So please continue to pray for him, and his family as they make some paradigm shifts in their lives as a result. I cannot imagine their lives will ever be as they thought it would and that takes a lot of time, energy and struggle to reconcile.

Please pray for my husband as well. He is facing an lot of struggles currently, and he needs encouragement and strength. He is a good man and is facing the prospect of this new birth much better then I am. The other day I went for my Dr. Appt and it really hurt. So it made me think..."Yeah, I could wait a few more days for this."

Oh, and my girl conjugated a verb two days a ago. She was playing chase with her Daddy and she stopped to tell me, "Mom, playing run!" and then sped off in the other direction in the living room. What a precious girl I have.

Waiting and dying.

2007-08-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me yesterday that waiting for the birth of your child is like waiting to die. At least, as I believe that I will have eternal life in heaven when I die, I think waiting for the birth of my child must mirror that passing. I don't say this as someone naive, as I clearly recall my mother's death when I was 19. I've already had one child, so I feel confident to make the comparison.

I distinctly remember the moment my prayers shifted from "heal my mother from all cancer and pain" to "please make her passage to heaven as best as it can be, just make it happen quickly." There was the realization that the cancer WAS her end and it wasn't kind to ask for more time out of her struggling body. We were somewhat resigned to her passing, as you are never ready for the death, only planning for it. I believe my mother professed the same beliefs I hold and that her soul was going to heaven when she died. My belief is that she is out of pain, in a new body and is completely happy and full of joy. To get to that place, I had to pray for her cancer to take her life. So I prayed in that vein in the end, so my mother wouldn't suffer any longer than necessary. The nearly intolerable pain I knew she was in made the end result desirable.

Which reminds me of birth.

I remember that moment it dawned on me that I had only one single choice in life, and it was to go through a hellish amount of pain. It was the only way to get my baby out of my body and be released from the physical pain of childbirth. I think I had somehow deluded myself to thinking I would have some other option...some get out of childbirth pain-free option. Which seems silly now, but I am apt to think many other women have fooled themselves the same way.

You realize in that moment that the pain brings about the joy of parenthood, the joy of a new life taking breath, The indescribable happiness of meeting your child face to face. It is the new beginning after a long and painful journey. So you pray for the pain in order to get to the joy.

I am waiting for the pain, praying for the pain to begin in order to get to the completion of my joy to see my son face to face. Just like I will someday wait for the pain, pray for the pain to meet my death to complete my joy and meet my God and family in heaven...face to face.

Today is a good day to have our baby

2007-08-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

But I doubt it will it happen. I am still a week away but I feel like like I am ready today. So, if anyone wants to pray about that feel free. I thought I was in labor yesterday for a few hours, but the contractions stopped and I had to face the fact I was not going to have it yesterday. Byt then I had already worked like a fiend to get the house cleaned up and the laundry done. I hate leaving laundry in the washer in the summer since it gets all mildew-y in a hurry. I also don't like any laundry sitting out to attract ants or mice. In fact, I thought I heard a mouse yesterday in our closet. I looked all over and I can't find one. But now I am on hyper-mouse-alert because I don't like mice!

Anyway, today is a good day to have a baby I think, but the Lord knows better. When this new baby wants to come out of me, he will...and no amount of wishing or cleaning on my part will change that.

Little Baby Nathan is struggling

2007-08-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

The 26 week old baby who was born last week is making it so far. Please pray for his little heart, well and for all of his organs. Although his time might be brief on the earth, we just don't know. He has a very long and rough road ahead of him if he lives past his first month, and his parents will continue to go through the wringer for many years. Thank you for praying, they certainly need it at this time.

And we're back...in our right mind

2007-08-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so yesterday's post was an attempt to keep from a crying jag brought about by frustration and hormones. It seemed like everybody in cyberspace was updating their site and the super cute picture I have of my girl won't sit upright, even though I tried it like 3 times(finally got it yesterday). I was so mad about that. But, after coffee and a trip to the printers to pick up Beth Moore posters- all was quiet on the western front. My girl was an angel the rest of the day and I got some sleep, lunch and that helped a LOT. Plus I went to Target to get last minute stuff (pacifier, nursing pads, etc). I got a slurpee (like 10oz one) for my daughter and she took one sip and her eyes opened wide and she said, "CANDY!". I replied that it was drink candy and I immediately blamed my lack of judgement on the hormones. But boy was she energized when we got home. Haven't seen her like that in some time...I finally fessed up about the slurpee to my husband after my girl wrestled him for 30 straight minutes. Poor guy.

I hate everything.

2007-08-16T09:35:00.001-07:00

I hate stupid Safari browser. I hate Craigslist that dumped my ad twice. I forgot that my coffee was in the freezer. Ungh.

Am I Wrong? Or Am I just 9 months along?

2007-08-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

Our local newspaper had an article recently about door to door solicitors who assaulted a woman in her home while there displayng products. So, I thought about putting up a sign to turn them away, but I forgot. This morning a woman in her twenties came to my door with an European accent trying to sell "Educational Products". I said "No thank you." as my girl walked up to me at the door to see who was there. Then the woman took out a colorful book and held it out to my girl and said,"Well, let me show you..." and that's when I got mad. My daughter was reaching out for the book and I was holding her hand and pulling her back inside the house as she started to whine for the book. So I said to the solicitor, "That was innappropriate. I already said no and you used my daughter to manipulate me. That was innappropriate." Then the solicitor asked if I could help her with her map to discern who she could sell to in our neighborhood.

My repsonse was, "NO. I will not help you sell to my neighbors. Leave." and I shut the door and locked it.

I thought it was wrong to use my child to try to sell me something. That is what I was mad about.

Am I a lunatic? I don't think so. By the time I closed the door my daughter was in a full cry for that stupid book.

What do you think?

Pray for Scott and Tammy

2007-08-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

A dear sweet couple from my husband's work just called to let us know of the birth of their second child. It was scary news since the baby wasn't due until late November. So that makes this little one only about 26 weeks. For those who might not know, a full term baby is 40 weeks old. Their little one is being transferred to the hospital near our house that has the comprehensive neonatal unit.

Their older son just turned one about 4 weeks ago, so you can imagine what this little family is facing.

Please pray for their newborn preemie and Tammy's health to recover from the birth, I am sure it was a c-section.

Also: you can pray for Amy Wilhoite, Dr. Kimball Hodge and an unnamed friend back in the midwest.

Thank you.

* Update at 1pm...the baby is doing well all things considered. He is 12 inches and 26 weeks along. He is breathing on a ventilator and things are minute to minute and will be for some time. Tammy gave birth the old fashioned way and has already been released since obviously things are extenuating. Please continue to pray!

Britt and Cheesecakes

2007-08-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

I was so impressed with myself yesterday when I went to two stores to get the ingredients for an ambitious white chocolate sour cream raspberry cheesecake. I went with my girl and we made it through two stores, Starbucks (for Daddy) and then we went to his work for 10 minutes to run around before we came home. It's good to have a husband who will take 15 minutes out of his day to play with his daughter at his work. Anyway, I was thinking I was so cool and effective when I got home and made the cheesecake crust. Then it hit me...I failed to get the main ingredient: cream cheese.

Since it was about 2 minutes to nap time and I had contractions too strong to leave the house...I did what any desparate woman would do: I started calling babysitters and offering $10 to anyone available to go get the cream cheese. Sadly, no one was available and so I resorted to calling my Mother in Law and begging her for the task. Thankfully she was at Costco and she was headed to Safeway and could do it. So, thankfully I was able to pull off the cheesecake so it could get in the fridge overnight. I always find that if I don't chill a cheesecake for at least 16 hours I am sorry. And it looks so good for today's party for my father in law's bday.

Then we headed off to Britt Festivals to hear Jeffery Kahane play. Britt is a music festival near here that has an outdoor ampitheatre and excellent surroundings. I was sure every cultured person in this valley was there last night. Anyway, we had a lovely picnic with the family (kidddos were at home) and we enjoyed the concert. I was very uncomfortable for about 2/3 of the time as 9 month pregnant ladies are not cut out for sitting on hillsides for hours. But we enjoyed our date!

And lastly, my husband who IS AMAZING fixed both the sink and replaced the garbage disposal on Thursday night.

HOW COOL IS THAT? Goodness.

And here is a picture of my German Chocolate cake from last week and our trip to Crater Lake:

Cake, insomnia, laundry and p-p

2007-08-08T13:03:00.000-07:00

Oh, it's a pirate's life for me! I've failed to post anything lately, and that's because we've been on the go. The reality that we are less than 21 days from the baby's birth prompted us to go into hyper mode. So we've all been keeping very busy with activities we can't do for a long time after the birth. So we went out on a date and we went to Crater Lake with some work friends. I baked a German Chocolate cake (box cake, but scratch frosting), I canned peaches for the new baby, and we went to Husband's last baseball game. We've done laundry for an army (how did we get so many clothes?) and I've made some good meals that went in the freezer for after the baby arrives. I went commando grocery shopping (almost sent me into labor) and last night I made the very best gravy of my life. I bought a Costco chicken before we went to the mall so my girl could play in the free toddler play area so it was easy to make dinner when we got home. I then floured some zuchinni and cooked it on the stove top. When that was done I put the chicken gravy in the pan with some white wine, butter and then about a Tablespoon of half and half. Oh my, when the pan deglazed and I added the cream...it was heavenly. So, so so SO good. The best combo ever for gravy and instant mashed potatoes. I felt like Martha for a few moments there.

What else? Oh, the baby continues his slow decent to the nearest and only exit. So my back is really taking the brunt of it and sleeping has become difficult at best. I wake up many times every night, and I am sure it is preparation for the night feedings. I am still working on getting everything ready for our transition and just yesterday I got my girl's clothes updated and put the old ones away (in case we have another girl after this baby). So I can honestly tell my husband, "Just grab something out of her dresser." when he needs to get her dressed. I assume this time I will send him home at night from the hospital so he and our girl can be together and get some sleep in their own beds. Since I have a little button I can push everytime I need some help, husband doesn't need to be there. He needs his sleep (though he might argue that point :)) so I want him to sleep at home. Besides, the hospital is only about 12 blocks away from the house. It's not like it's in another state.

And now about the p**-p**. The other night I got the girl out of the b@th and I left her diaper off for a little while. She was running around upstairs while I was in my room sorting clothes on the bed. It was kind of warm, so I thought she would be ok without her pj's. Well, she was in her room for a little bit and then she comes to me in my room with her arm outstretched, something in hand.
"Mom!"
"Yes honey." Still sorting clothes.
"Mom."
"What honey?" I looked down and I thought, "Wait, did Daddy leave out some candy? I thought I only bought fruity Tootsy Rolls..." Then it dawns on me. "What is that?"
"P**-p**."
"OH! Oh my! Can you show me where the rest of the p**-p** is?"
She takes my hand and we stop by the bathroom for baby wipes and then go dispose of the rest. She was so proud she came and told me. That's the last time I will let her go "au nautral" for a while.

Favorite Truncations

2007-08-08T12:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure truncations is the proper use of the word truncate, but it kept you reading. This is a list of my girl's best words to date and some of the truncated versions on phrases:

Hi, how are you doing? = Hi, how doooaan?
Cool! = Coooooooooool.
Please. = Bah (at first) now it is peeeze.
Teddy bear = Buppy
Oh no! What happened? = Ohhno! Hap An?
For me? = Froney?
Computer. = Froley.(why those are so similar, I don't know)

I'll add to the list as I think of them....funny how you can't think when you're pregnant.